Here I go...

I've been avoiding blogging for awhile because I have more and more shit to say as time goes by. I would really like to set some time aside to do some serious update, but hey, my roommate is back and he's pretty damn tired.


O yes, I have moved out of the hostel life finally! I'm in a shared room with this 36 year old guy from Czech, and a working Aussie guy in the other room. The place is alright but the location is totally awesome. It's a 2 minute walk to work, the wharf/ferry, and Coles (a big chain supermarket). It also feels nice to be able to put my stuff in shelves and drawers.


The other night I was told that the Aussie guy is a slob. He never cleans, does the dishes or any other housework, and the Czech guy has been cleaning after him for 3 years already! I was wondering about the knife with peanut butter by the kitchen sink every morning. I have been washing after this guy without knowing any of this, and now I'm going to avoid cleaning his stuff anymore.


The Czech guy came off as someone interesting but more serious in an older sense (he jokes around a bit). Who knew he used to be a super rock star back home in Czech, the lead singer in a famous band. There were pictures to prove, where he had long hair (he's shaved head now) with crazier clothes than Anthony (my b-b-buddy). I thought things were alright when we stayed up chatting on NYE until he tried to make a move on me in the morning, but I quickly escaped back to my bed. We never talked about it and we just pretended nothing had happened, so I guess that's fine for me.


Yes, I do get sad sometimes when guys keep wanting more from me when I'm only trying to make some friends. I'm not so surprised anymore with more incidents occurring. Me and the Jap girl had discussed about this topic before. I guess backpacking alone as a girl can be lonesome sometimes, yet can encounter many interesting experience. Even when I'm drunk, I know what I am doing and always end up escaping from certain situations. The last time I went out with her, we checked out some R&B club in Manly for the first time. We got wasted and she had agreed to go to some guys' place. She was basically half conscious and I had to drag her out because I didn't like the situation. Maybe I can be too protective of my friends. She was saying that she didn't like the hostel and felt lonely. Anyhow, the sun was up and I was walking in barefeet on concrete and grass because my high heels were hurting. Luckily, no cuts in the morning hehe.


So the Jap girl has been one of my main companions these days. My old Brazillion roommate is my other. By the end of my stay at the hostel before, he was becoming ruder and ruder to me. Sometimes he can be totally sweet, and he did admit that he's messed up in the head so maybe that's why I'm so forgiving towards his strange behaviours. For X'mas, I got him a tee that says, "My anger management class is pissing me off," which I think he got a kick out of. On Xmas Eve, we got into a fight. He took me and the Jap girl to this Brazillian house party in another suburb at a late time, then he wanted to go to Steyne, the local bar. He was getting pissy and taking it out on me which I think it was because he was upset about other things, such as none of his friends wanted to go there and the fact that he was away from his family. I finally told him that he was pissing me off and then he took off on us in the middle of nowhere. I called motorcyle guy to pick us up, and we went to his place for awhile. His roommate took the car to...probably to shag this girl, so we had to tried to take the taxi in this other suburb. I was trying to call and flag down any taxi that drove by but to no success. It was pouring rain outside, and we were 40 minutes outside at 4am. Yes, that was my X'mas eve story.


It was awkward because I was moving out the next day and this thing with my roommate happened. I was avoiding to look him in the eyes for the next day but eventually I had to communicate with him. We still meet up sometimes now and we are cool. I guess people start to get pissy at each other if they live or spend time together everyday.

Other than that, me and the Jap girl went to Blue Mountains on X'mas eve day. It's a popular tourist spot for hiking and being in nature/mountains. It's a 2 hour train ride from the city centre. We walked for only 2 hours in the trail, while trying to avoid the muddy roads. I wasn't wearing proper shoes, and was carrying too much heavy crap. It was nice nonetheless. When we got back to the city, we went shopping in a semi Asian mall where we felt quite at home. We ended up having Korean hotpot for dinner that evening. We tried to hurry back to Manly after, and then what happened was what I have written in the previous paragraph.

X'mas day, I went to Shelley Beach, a smaller and calmer beach right beside Manly, with the people from the hostel for BBQ and drinks. It was nice and different, to see many X'mas toques on a summer day (cloudy but still nice) at the beach. I bumped into motorcycle guy, and talked to some other acquaintences. It was pretty chilled. Later on, I saw my roommate but I tried to avoid him. I found out later that many people from the hostel were on pills that day, hmm.

For NYE day, I had a company bbq and drinking party at Shelley Beach again. It was relaxing also and nice to catch up with some of my coworkers. In the evening, my Jap friend wanted to do her tradition of eating zaru soba and sushi for NY. We were deciding if we should go to the city for fireworks or not. I decided not to because of the crowd and the waiting time for such a short climatic moment. Later I found out it was only for 10 minutes and some of my coworkers ended up in an area where they could not even see anything. There were mini fireworks in the local harbour so I went to see that instead, which is a 1 minute walk from my place. It lasted for 10 minutes, and after we ate the Japanese dinner with another friend of hers at the beach. I rolled my own makis too, it was delicious. We had planned to go to the local bars here, and only Steyne seemed like an okay place to go to. It wasn't too busy because I think most people went to the city, and the music/dj there was lame as usual. I went home by myself early at 12:30. I'm sick of that place (trashy! boring!), and I was missing my friends back home. I was on the internet at night, and my roommate came home later on and we were chatting until the morning. See above for what happened after.

I'm starting to find faults with the Czech roommate now... he has been working alot and for a couple of times when he was going to sleep, he wanted me to get off the computer because of the noise. If he's fussy about things like that, then he shouldn't have a roommate in his room. I'm used to hostel life where some people don't even respect the word "quiet," or cleaners coming into the room to vacuum every morning. Usually everyone just tries to sleep no matter what is happening. He has also forgotten to open the blinds before he leaves in the morning like I have asked him to, so I ended up sleeping in because of that.

I'm starting to feel that this place is kinda dirty, mainly in the common rooms. The phone is dirty, and the couch is disgusting which I don't even wanna sit on it. I'm used to cockroaches and insects running around considering the fact that it is Sydney, unless you can live with the windows closed. One time I was taking a shower, I watched a cockroach on the other side of the tub, slipping and stuggling to climb back up. OK, I mind my own business and so do they. The most fuked up thing so far is that I found out there were a family of insects (not sure which kind) living in the microwave. When I turned it on, I could see them running around behind the time screen. I thought this would be a good story to tell, and I guess radiation isn't as powerful as I thought. I didn't see them today, either they have escaped somehow or they are rotting inside.

Sometimes I'm tired of communicating to my ESL friends. Either they don't completely understand me or I don't really understand what they are trying to say. I would be saying a bunch of things to the Jap girl and then she would ask a question later that would seem like she didn't even hear what I have told her. I asked her if she understood me and she would say yes. If she didn't understand me, she could have just told me so I wouldn't feel like I'm talking to a wall. Hey, I never said I was a patient person.


Regarding the issue of racism, I am sick of being treated as an Asian and not a person. Maybe I look for it but I can definitely compare it to Canada. Wtf is "Hey, Asians, Happy New Year!"?? Okay, at first I told myself to not care about other people's garbage, but now I realize it might affect my employability according to my skin. That made me sad, but I know there are both good and not so good people here. I just have to continue my search for the my ideal niche. I know I'm in a both touristy and suburban area so things can be like that. When I went to the city, I thought that there were many more Asians so it's probably not as bad but I don't really want to live in the city now. It's actually not really only about me or Asians, it's all nationalities judging each other by stereotypes. Like when I was calling to see a room, the girl on the other end asked me where I was from....mm...Canada..that's ok.... ??? Or my roommate would say Brazillians are messy from his past roommate experience, that his employer doesn't want to hire people from that country.


Brazillian has pointed out that I'm complaining all the time, because I said I hate Steyne, the music sucks, not feeling Australia, etc. I realized that I am somewhat negative! I talked to Laura online and she said I was true to my feelings instead. I think she always has such interesting and surprising perspectives. Suddenly, she has "neutralized" my negativity, or should I say, I came to the realization of the non-existence of positivity or negativity. It's really all just perspectives and "is-ness." Whoa, totally radical.

Before, I usually hang out at Manly Beach, a long strip of a beach, located right by my hostel. Now that I have moved, I have been told that there are more beaches by the wharlf. One day, I ventured out on my own to explore. It's a nice scenic seaside walk, with lots of boulders and small beaches that were great for snorkeling. I found a nice piece of rock that is one level under the pedestrian pathway with a tree for shade to meditate and recharge. Another day, I found another spot, a bit of sand underneathe some big plants with even more privacy, to do the same. I took off my rose quartz bracelet which was given to me by Janice before my trip. I forgot about it and and it was gone when I went back the next day...waaahhhh. I really cherished it and it fit me so well too. I know it's just another possession that I have to let go of, and maybe someone needed it more than me. I have been losing enough stuff already...me and my clumsiness. I lost one of my hoop earrings while partying too.

Last Saturday, I took work off and went to the Sydney Festival in the city. There were some really good djs and I got to see Chromeo from Montreal...for free! There were thousands and thousands of people. It was quite a sight for me. The Jap girl doesn't like electronic music so I felt like she wasn't enjoying herself and was getting irritated with the crowds of people. She wanted to find a liquor store to buy drinks so we walked for quite awhile. Somehow I get turned off when people get so desparate for alcohol, and I was a bit choked because I might be missing out on some of the acts. We got to the store too late and it was closing up. We were at another stage with some experimental hip hop act which I think she liked much more. Afterwards, we tried to find a place to go clubbing. We stumbled upon a liquor store so she was happy. She was wanting to find somewhere to down it as soon as possible. Then, we were trying to find a hip hop club which wasn't too easy for some reason. I guess the house scene is quite big here, especially in the area where we were. Maybe it would be fun if I had company who enjoys house music. Anhow, the place we went to was small and not many people were there. I was very disappointed and I guess the local club by where I live is actually better. I was getting really tired from whole day of walking around, and I didn't want to dance. I was a party pooper and wasn't into it at all. Two nights of r&B hip hop can get quite boring and played out also. We tried to go to other places but didn't really work out. I see alot of trashiness and drunkeness around which was a turn off for me. Maybe I should really get out of the party lifestyle. People needing to get messed up in attempt to enjoy life and forget about their problems, get laid to cover up their loneliness. I walked by the red light district and I tried to walk past it as fast as I could. I miss my party friends in Vancouver though ('coz that is how we do it). When we were waiting for the bus to go back, I told her that I didn't want to party in the city anymore. She agreed. What a waste of money, but the festival was a great event for me to check out. Plans for Melbourne perhaps? They have better parties.

I know the Jap girl will leave in a few weeks and I don't even know if I should stay here or Manly. I don't know how long I want to stay in Australia, and other travel possibilities might come up. I don't even know if I should look too hard for work now that I should be taking this cheap reiki course in Melbourne coming up in February. I know that there is so much more to Australia than what I'm seeing at the moment. Not sure if I should go to the outback or dessert at all. I kind of want to see what it is like to travel by car, but might hate the exhausting road trip since Australia is so damn big. There are friends in other cities so maybe I should find them. All these thoughts but should consider the issue of money too. I could blow alot of money on my credit if I wanted to but Laura has warned me to not follow her footsteps. On the other hand, Gip said I have my whole life to make the money back, and this is probably a once in a life time opportunity.

This post is a bit random and non-linear. I just tried to fill the gaps here and there. I'm glad to finally put this information up. OK enough editing, it's like playing with that coloured dice trying to fit one colour on each side (like in Pursuit of Happiness). Thanks for reading, until next time...!