Back tracking a bit here, Bali was a marvelous experience overall but I had to deal with alot of shit as well. After my Taiwanese friend, whom I didn't get along with, had returned to Australia after her 2 week trip, I stayed in Ubud for a few more days. One reason was my decision to go volcano trekking. It was hard work for a trooper like me but at least I can say I have done it! Stumbling through loose volcano rocks in my maryjane Crocs requires mad skills. Anyways, I really had to leave Ubud because the city was going stale for me and I had to run away from 3 guys. It was quite dramatic as this virgin heart was getting red eyed outside of the shuttle bus. I went up North to Lovina and met 3 single female travelers who were all wonderful. After a few days, I continued the rest of my journey with this French girl, my lovely Maeva. We totally got along as travel mates. She's someone who I could meditate AND party with. The worst part of my trip was having my wallet stolen at a club. I was left penniless, rupiahless, and credit card-less. Luckily, Maeva lent me money and suggested to get help from friends through Western Union. Sadly, almost everyone was broke in Vancouver and I didn't want to ask my parents since they were dealing with illness. Luckily, the twins helped me out. I really had to appreciate everything when I had nothing, like local people offering to help out with food and even tobacco to me. Hey Bali, I'll be back one day.
When I went back to Australia, I still had 2 weeks to kill. It's not cheap to travel there and I didn't feel very safe without my credit cards. Darwin was freaking boring as it was turning into wet season. Instead of my original plan of flying to Brisbane and traveling down to Sydney, I took the train all the way down south to Adelaide for 2 whole days. The train ride was not bad with endless sceneries of red sand and trees for half of the way, then it turned greener as it went down south. It even had showers and towels to use, but not very comfortable to sleep in a chair. I stayed in Adelaide for a few days to meet up with friends. One of them was Martin, the guy who I spent the longest time with during my trip. It was our last goodbye this time, well, at least for this trip. I took a bus to Sydney via Melbourne which took 24 hours. I went couch surfing (free! it's an online movement where a community of people offer their places for free to each other while traveling) at this 76 and 77 year-old couples' 20-acre land 2 hours away from Sydney city centre. They are parents of a guy I met in Confest who I never kept in touch with him because he liked me (Yup what's new? J/k). Luckily, he was in Europe so I didn't need to see him while I knew that they would be very hospitable. The land was in between 2 national parks, and a river at the bottom of the slope where we went kayaking. They had 4 dogs, 2 horses and a goose. This couple is the third one I have met who have lousy relationships with each other. I realize my parents' relationship is actually not too shabby after all. The wife screamed at him all the time, and was addicted to soap opera, coffee and cigarettes. He was a really active old man as he did most of their chores and even help carry things for me. He was lonely and needing to socialize since his wife cut him off for years. As terrible as it sounds, I have spoken to her and she was probably nice to everyone else in the world except for him. At first, I thought he was very well rounded and nice, but later I was a bit smothered by his need to reach out. It was sweet of him to drop nice little surprises off in my cabin, but it was a bit disturbing when I realized he had done it while I was asleep sometimes. I like privacy and silence at times. I don't think I could stand being there for too long. Luckily, it was only for 5 days and that wrapped up the trip in an interesting way.
I was flying home to Vancouver finally. I didn't have much emotions probably because I have became a person of detachment and really lived in the moment. Or I was too occupied by reading and watching numerous movies during my plane and bus rides. The moment of excitement had finally arrived when the wheels of the plane was landing on the ground of Beautiful British Columbia. Of course, it was strange coming home. I liked the feeling of unfamiliarity of the familiar, and that everything looked so crisp, fresh and spacious here. I felt connected and refreshed. The kind of connection that radiates from the heart centre. As expected, it went away after a week or so. I'm back to my old life.
So am I a different person after this one year of traveling? What have I learned? I think I am not very attached to much anymore, including M. I have started seeing him again, and yes, back to square one but this time I'm alot more detached compare to before. Another thing is that I had to face my fears- like waitressing because I had negative experience when I was younger, and housekeeping because I hated public or cleaning toilets. I got over some of my ego when I had to do these low end jobs, something that I would never caught dead doing in Canada. Now that I am back, I am still stooping low on that spectrum of things. It's time to turn the switch up because I am feeling disappointed at myself for not being to bring myself up career wise. I am not boasting but I believe I am a positive, deep and intelligent person who can create my own life as I desire. I don't know what is holding me back from shining through. Now, my new fear is interviews. I have heard that most people fear public speaking more than death. At least that's my case.
I think another important thing that I was and still am learning is to pay attention to my intuition/inner voice. Many "undesirable" things have happened because I didn't consciously develop and/or listen to my intuition. Life would be so much easier if we could go with the flow as we weave through our ever changing feelings.
Another lesson is that I should stop giving out healing for free. Everyone started to feed off my energy at some point in Australia and expected it from me for free. I didn't feel right. Perhaps energy exchange is necessary sometimes.
As of now, I have to really get things rolling because my part time retail job at an aromatherapy store is not doing it for me. I am in a financial rut and I need to explode like China because this just ain't right. Plain and simple. At the same time, I'm yearning to be reconnected energetically and raising my vibrations.
Lastly, what was my true purpose for this trip since nothing is a coincidence, a question that I had been asking myself for the longest time? Perhaps it was a necessary path for me to focus on myself in ridding of ego and fear to prepare for my divine purpose, or it was really nothing but a long dream. All I know is that infinite possibilities can only be defined by the perspective and direction one chooses.
(drums rolling.....) TA DA!
Thank you for allowing me to share my experience with you. I hope you enjoyed it as much as your own life. Namaste.
