It's a wrap!

I finally made it here to finish this blog of Au in Au.

Back tracking a bit here, Bali was a marvelous experience overall but I had to deal with alot of shit as well. After my Taiwanese friend, whom I didn't get along with, had returned to Australia after her 2 week trip, I stayed in Ubud for a few more days. One reason was my decision to go volcano trekking. It was hard work for a trooper like me but at least I can say I have done it! Stumbling through loose volcano rocks in my maryjane Crocs requires mad skills. Anyways, I really had to leave Ubud because the city was going stale for me and I had to run away from 3 guys. It was quite dramatic as this virgin heart was getting red eyed outside of the shuttle bus. I went up North to Lovina and met 3 single female travelers who were all wonderful. After a few days, I continued the rest of my journey with this French girl, my lovely Maeva. We totally got along as travel mates. She's someone who I could meditate AND party with. The worst part of my trip was having my wallet stolen at a club. I was left penniless, rupiahless, and credit card-less. Luckily, Maeva lent me money and suggested to get help from friends through Western Union. Sadly, almost everyone was broke in Vancouver and I didn't want to ask my parents since they were dealing with illness. Luckily, the twins helped me out. I really had to appreciate everything when I had nothing, like local people offering to help out with food and even tobacco to me. Hey Bali, I'll be back one day.

When I went back to Australia, I still had 2 weeks to kill. It's not cheap to travel there and I didn't feel very safe without my credit cards. Darwin was freaking boring as it was turning into wet season. Instead of my original plan of flying to Brisbane and traveling down to Sydney, I took the train all the way down south to Adelaide for 2 whole days. The train ride was not bad with endless sceneries of red sand and trees for half of the way, then it turned greener as it went down south. It even had showers and towels to use, but not very comfortable to sleep in a chair. I stayed in Adelaide for a few days to meet up with friends. One of them was Martin, the guy who I spent the longest time with during my trip. It was our last goodbye this time, well, at least for this trip. I took a bus to Sydney via Melbourne which took 24 hours. I went couch surfing (free! it's an online movement where a community of people offer their places for free to each other while traveling) at this 76 and 77 year-old couples' 20-acre land 2 hours away from Sydney city centre. They are parents of a guy I met in Confest who I never kept in touch with him because he liked me (Yup what's new? J/k). Luckily, he was in Europe so I didn't need to see him while I knew that they would be very hospitable. The land was in between 2 national parks, and a river at the bottom of the slope where we went kayaking. They had 4 dogs, 2 horses and a goose. This couple is the third one I have met who have lousy relationships with each other. I realize my parents' relationship is actually not too shabby after all. The wife screamed at him all the time, and was addicted to soap opera, coffee and cigarettes. He was a really active old man as he did most of their chores and even help carry things for me. He was lonely and needing to socialize since his wife cut him off for years. As terrible as it sounds, I have spoken to her and she was probably nice to everyone else in the world except for him. At first, I thought he was very well rounded and nice, but later I was a bit smothered by his need to reach out. It was sweet of him to drop nice little surprises off in my cabin, but it was a bit disturbing when I realized he had done it while I was asleep sometimes. I like privacy and silence at times. I don't think I could stand being there for too long. Luckily, it was only for 5 days and that wrapped up the trip in an interesting way.

I was flying home to Vancouver finally. I didn't have much emotions probably because I have became a person of detachment and really lived in the moment. Or I was too occupied by reading and watching numerous movies during my plane and bus rides. The moment of excitement had finally arrived when the wheels of the plane was landing on the ground of Beautiful British Columbia. Of course, it was strange coming home. I liked the feeling of unfamiliarity of the familiar, and that everything looked so crisp, fresh and spacious here. I felt connected and refreshed. The kind of connection that radiates from the heart centre. As expected, it went away after a week or so. I'm back to my old life.

So am I a different person after this one year of traveling? What have I learned? I think I am not very attached to much anymore, including M. I have started seeing him again, and yes, back to square one but this time I'm alot more detached compare to before. Another thing is that I had to face my fears- like waitressing because I had negative experience when I was younger, and housekeeping because I hated public or cleaning toilets. I got over some of my ego when I had to do these low end jobs, something that I would never caught dead doing in Canada. Now that I am back, I am still stooping low on that spectrum of things. It's time to turn the switch up because I am feeling disappointed at myself for not being to bring myself up career wise. I am not boasting but I believe I am a positive, deep and intelligent person who can create my own life as I desire. I don't know what is holding me back from shining through. Now, my new fear is interviews. I have heard that most people fear public speaking more than death. At least that's my case.

I think another important thing that I was and still am learning is to pay attention to my intuition/inner voice. Many "undesirable" things have happened because I didn't consciously develop and/or listen to my intuition. Life would be so much easier if we could go with the flow as we weave through our ever changing feelings.

Another lesson is that I should stop giving out healing for free. Everyone started to feed off my energy at some point in Australia and expected it from me for free. I didn't feel right. Perhaps energy exchange is necessary sometimes.

As of now, I have to really get things rolling because my part time retail job at an aromatherapy store is not doing it for me. I am in a financial rut and I need to explode like China because this just ain't right. Plain and simple. At the same time, I'm yearning to be reconnected energetically and raising my vibrations.

Lastly, what was my true purpose for this trip since nothing is a coincidence, a question that I had been asking myself for the longest time? Perhaps it was a necessary path for me to focus on myself in ridding of ego and fear to prepare for my divine purpose, or it was really nothing but a long dream. All I know is that infinite possibilities can only be defined by the perspective and direction one chooses.



(drums rolling.....) TA DA!

Thank you for allowing me to share my experience with you. I hope you enjoyed it as much as your own life. Namaste.

I'm alive!

I have safely arrived home in Vancouver on Oct 22, 2008.
I'm still adjusting and busy with being back, but I will be writing some kind of conclusion to wrap this blog up.
So...to be continued....

Bali! After one year of waiting...

It's been awhile again. Because there's alot to be said, I'm gonna try the beat style of writing like Jack Kerouac. Here it goes...

Kakadu-
Me and 2 Taiwanese FOB friends drove in a $2000 no air con car sweating like pigs under the hot Darwin sun Caravan park camping bbq cheap kangaroo sausages many areas to see in Kakadu ancient rock art by Indigenous people Lord of the Ring like high plane views greens and wetlands weird animals crocodiles in all water so advised to not swim in any water except for swimming pools Darwin has many crocs and snakes and all sorts of dangerous goodies tranquil hot sometimes mosquitos sandflies flies they have their own hoods I hate sandflies the most as I have mentioned many times wild forest fires at night dramatic firey colours while photographed from the empty road learned about aboriginal cultures in cultural centres and feeling intrusive of their land from my visit as there are still restricted areas with sacred spots and possibly homes beautiful country as they refer to their areas as their own countries would have loved alot more time but drove back so I can go to work in the factory like 5 star chain hotel at 2pm which was very very weird.

Bali-
On plane realized visa had problem o no had to panick for an hour during line up at custom guessing I might have to be sent back to Oz my turn and I was sent to the immigration office crying a little and then was offered a bribe of $300 US upset and wasn't thinking straight without a good friend to advise but a friend I knew for only 1 week I handed the money didn't feel good about losing it but it's better than getting sent back and money can get away with alot of things especially in third world country should have bargained though upset about this and being in busy Kuta was overwhelming local sellers were annoying No I'm not fuking Japanese stop talking Japanese to me No thank you go away please You just took $300Us from me stop trying to take more from me the poor little tourist like they can smell fresh meat from far but we could adjust quickly accommodation at tunjung was great swimming pool love balinese architecture offering smiles culture nature sun moon different than Oz crazy traffic rented scooter for 2 days me and my friend don't really get along to begin with but I try to handle it many times I wanted to ask to separate to have our own trips beach water dirty construction sea temple heart expansion connected in centre gotta love temples balinese dances are sacred and traditional felt like royalty watching them and they sure ain't cheap compared to the cost of living here amazing how they preserve culture so well partying in kuta clubs are great music very good not lame like Oz but bad company just bumping no dancing she looked around and we had no party connection stupid wanted to go home early another time went with a guy from surf shop had a blast drinking local arak palm wine drinks got super trashed at reggaeton dance hall night guy kissed me no feeling boo for me food is usually fried rice or noodle under indonesian menu but real local food has so much more to offer not happy with my friend wanted to meet more local people some speak to me out of friendliness others want to sell or hook up but when I got to Ubud I found out Balinese only have one partner in life and never change bf/gf very different culture so Kuta crazy guys are from Java or other regions local boy has been taking me out paying for me which is ridiculous bc they are poor and I'm the rich queen here now boy has fallen in love with me and first time for him not sure of what to do with himself at first me sympathy now I want to leave Ubud because he doesn't understand that I don't feel the same way and keep pushing maybe you will change your mind tomorrow don't be in denial love hurts well no he doesn't understand any relationship stuff I love Ubud very artistic and mellow but how can I enjoy it here now with that awkward situation and he can drive around and find me easily o yes too many tours tired of driving around looking at touristy spots o yes very beautiful ah have an expensive tourist drink or meal and keep driving maybe people rip us off and friend not making me feel better with situations with prices she's a condescending bitch sometimes with expectations from me and she's not so interesting in my book FOBBY and not my cup of tea but don't give me freaking attitude Are we going to do this or just stand here? You do what you want so get impatient with me many times wanted to tell her off but now we try to get along sometimes not so bad like when I first met her she can get stingy and worry about getting ripped off by a few dollars my vacation me don't want no trouble over a fuking dollar ok I think I'm beat boxing here too much abou this o forgot about massages many don't meet a good standard but nice setting and cheap I miss thai massage men here are friendly maybe I should pick a store with a cuter guy because it seems like I can get anyone I want here but what happened to one partner for life or wanting to find foreign girl to get out of Bali motorbike with no helmet while insurance no extended but now it is so no worries if I die my family rich haha my accommodation very beautiful now but want to leave Ubud not sure where to go or would meet its and Kuta's standard...update later it's 2:35 at night.

Darwin...work work...

It's a good experience for me to work at a big company like Crowne Plaza. My position is actually houseman, public attendant and housekeeper, that means I have to run around quite a bit. The guy who trained me would get super stressed and be in a hurry all the time but I do admire his work ethics. I was only trained for 2 days and I was on my own to cover that guy's shift. I ended up working over time without getting paid for it and got really stressed. But now I just go at my own pace and take full proper breaks. One good thing is that I get free food, and in the evening, I even get to order whatever I want directly from the chef. That really helps with my finance.

Now it's crunch time to make some bling, so what else is interesting?

A Taiwanese girl asked me to cut her hair, and that's actually the first time for me, but it turned out decent :). She's hardcore, she biked around Australia! Driving or riding a motorcyle is difficult enough, let alone an Asian girl on a bicycle. (I went with her and another friend to Kakadu National Park which I will talk more about in my next entry, hopefully.)

I finally got paid back from "the guy." Hopefully, the other guy back home will pay me soon too. I now know that I'm not going to travel with him on this trip, so it's somewhat of a relief.

Darwin is not super interesting but quite rich in indigenous culture compared to other cities in Australia. A lot of their art is sold and displayed here, and many didgeridoo players, like at the market. A group is quite good, it consists of a super talented drummer and a didgeridoo guy. It's basically dnb beats, which gets alot of attention at the market, and even the "abbos" would get down on it.

There are aloooot of Taiwanese in Darwin, so some of my Tw friend don't want to stay here for this reason. Asian people would ask me if I'm Taiwanese instead of Japanese here.

I quite enjoy living in a tent in the backyard of my hostel. I have moved under some palm trees and I like the view of their silouettes when I am inside my tent. People usually pay to get wallpaper of similar visual from Ikea or something. I have a mattress and only use a thin sheet, so camping in Darwin ain't too shabby at all. I have my own space and it is much cheaper that a dorm room. The hostel prices in Darwin are ridiculous and most in the city don't even let people stay for long since they want to sell tours to newcomers.

A lot of friends come and go in Darwin but cest la vie. I should be leaving soon and a Taiwanese girl I met in Broome is going to Bali with me. I can't wait to get cheap massages everyday.

---------

More to be written...just want to post it before it starts this entry starts to rot.

updates:

• I booked my flight to Bali for September 12th, so that is very exciting.
• Kakadu National Park was awesome.

In Darwin

So I left Broome. I ended up meeting some really great people and had some awesome dinner parties. The people from my housekeeping job was like a family. For awhile before my leave, everyone there was calling me "cheeky." We had a lot of go away drinking parties because many backpackers were on the go. My last one with them which is for me and 2 other people, it was held at a beach in the evening. One of the woman who was also leaving cooked Indian curry and rice which was so damn good. A 63 year old co worker was definitely quite a character. She joked alotand always wanted her wine. Whenever she got drunk, she would dance then get a little sad and go home.

I started to develop a crush on my Korean co worker, but guess what, he had a girlfriend...again. However, I really enjoyed his and his friend's prescence and I was happy that they really wanted me to stick around. I have talked to him recently and from the sound of it, he might be single now. He would say "I love you" in Fijian which he learned from our co worker, but I really don't know what he truly meant by that. It doesn't matter too much though because we have parted our ways already and won't be likely to meet again on this trip.

When I got to Darwin, I was excited to be in a real city after more than 2 months of little towns and nothingness. I could do things like shop in the mall, wow hehe. The beach market here in some evenings is quite nice. People would catch the sunset at the beach while having a picnic with market food. Sometimes I tell myself how grateful I am to be able to try out life in a tropical place. I love palm trees, tropical flowers and animals. However, there are tons of mangrove (trees that live part time in the ocean according to the tides which ends up growing sandflies in the mud) here just like in Broome. Well, I really hate sandflies. They make me miserable and unsexy.

Jobs have been lining up for me quite quickly. I started working at a meat shop. Yes, a chicken meat shop for a semi vegetarian (this reminds me of a phrase that the 63 year old said, "I'm a vegetarian, I eat fish, chicken and sausages."). Surprisingly, I have been enjoying working there. I mainly make skewers/kebabs/satay sticks. The texture felt like clay, but not as much as some mix which I got to mold into rolls. The owners are from East Timor and really nice, but it also means that I am underpaid and being paid under the table. I had 2 more interviews and at the moment, I'm probably going to change my job doing housekeeping at a hotel instead. The pay is better and I can get more hours. One Saturday, I had a one day job at a big banquet at the casino for 3500 rich beautiful people. I worked for 9.75 hours waitressing which was very tiring, especially when my shoes were totally killing my feet. I was psyched to get a $50 tip from this guy, and a co worker actually got $160 herself.

Starting from scratch in another city can be tough. I've met up with a couple from Broome and my friend has been here to visit for a week, but I'm still traveling alone. I think after 2 weeks, I have finally made a couple of friends to hang out with now. The thing is that the people at my hostel can be a bit strange, or people like to hang out with their own kinds. I still find making friends with Asian people much easier, but I still have met alot of people from other cultures. I was fortunate to meet a local who drove me to see a nearby park and around the city. He even took me out to dinner at a seaside all you can eat seafood buffet.

Right now, I have moved into a tent in the backyard of my hostel because of the cheaper price. For the first few nights, I had to sleep on the hard ground with pebbles since I had no camping gear. The owner has offered me a mattress so it is quite perfect as I have my own space now. The weather is nice enough that a sleeping bag is not necessary for me. The only drawback is that I don't have a light at night but I'm working on it.

Moving up..

Wow. I have just booked my flight to Darwin now since I came up with this decision today. I almost was going to rent a campervan with friends to go, but it's costly and I found out that there isn't much to see between Broome to Darwin. Money and time is precious at the moment.
I am looking forward to it. Then Bali, here I come. I think that's probably where my true purpose lies.

Broome

I haven't updated in a month now so I'll try to wrap everything up in a nutshell.

I didn't find work for a week and suddenly I had job offered left and right. I had a couple of different work where I have only done 1-2 days.

Then I settled for a housekeeping job at a resort close to the beach. I freaking hated it at first, and had to remind myself during work that it's only temporary whenever I started thinking of how I would never be people's shitholes if I were in Vancouver. Now I'm finally getting used to it mentally and physically. We had a new job to do is to scrub the ring around the toilet bowl water built from the local water deposit. I have avoided doing it for days and today I finally had to do it but it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be.I guess I really learned about cleaning meticulously. Thanks Jenny G for calling me "Maria."

I'm finally getting jobs that pay employees properly, and apparently salary is higher in Broome.

I also had a second job for a week in, yes, another Chinese restaurant. The owners are really old, the guy is 73 years old and have an infected foot from sandfly bites. I quit because the business is not organized and not taken care of properly. He has a gambling problem and the wife would complain to me about it, and they fight too, how lovely. Because they are old, people might wait an hour for food which is ridiculous. Sometimes they look like they want to murder me at anytime. The decor is quite old, and you would feel like you are in the 70s or something when you step in.

My skin has been reacting to the local sandfly bites/piss.The bites are finally healing very slowly and sometimes they still itch, but at least it's not weeping. I have been super cautios and paranoid with all that. Two days ago, there is something on my right arm like dermatitis rash. Maybe I am being expose to too much chemicals from work, bug spray, and sunscreen. The sun might be a bad mix with it all too. It's tiring to deal with physical problems one after another. At least my wrist is pretty ok now.

On Thursdays, there's wet t-shirt contest on the busiest club night of the week. My ex roommate and my supervisor have gone up before, good times.

I got the chance to see "staircase to the moon," a natural phenomenon where the red moon would rise from the ocean. The moon's reflection on the low tide creates an illusion of a staircase. It turned out really big and red and the climax lasted for about a few minutes. At that beach, there is a small night market held. I accompanied my roommate who was doing hair wraps there and got a free one for being her assistant.

I've met a few good people here and some were reunited from the past, but many come and go quickly. We made meals for each other, BBQs and picnics. One time we had a dip in the water during sunset at cable beach which was quite memorable for me.

I think I got away without paying 3 weeks of accommodation so that helps alot. I'm tempted to go to another city to work because Broome is just a small tourist place. I plan to go up to Darwin (North), and from there I can fly to Bali to stay for a month or so, then go back to East Coast.

Continue going up north..

After Monkey Mia, Martin, my French buddy, and I went to Carnarvon. We heard it is supposed to be a place with tons of seasonal work. There were only 2 hostels in town, one was fully booked for weeks, and the other was cautioned by many horrible reviews. We had no choice but to stay there after one expensive night at a caravan park. The owners were really dodgy, with very limited office hours and sometimes work whenever as they please! A job orientation is supposed to happen everyday at 6pm, and one day they didn't open the door at all, so that wasted 1-2 of my days....doing nothing in this small town! Without a car, I couldn't really drive around looking for work. Even so, I heard most places have no work available anyways. I met up with Eric, Hugo and Wesley, whom are Laura and Tina's friends back home. They were living on a farm and they have a van also.

Anyways, after 4 days of waiting for work which never happened, I didn't want to waste my time anymore and decided to go up to the tropics- Broome.

It was a 19 hour Greyhound bus trip, and it was interesting to see various landscapes. I'm quite used to seeing red sand everywhere now, which makes a nice contrast with blue sky. I also see alot of pinkish sunsets that set on the straight horizon.

Broome is a small city with alot of backpackers and tourists at the moment. It is famous for its Cable Beach, very expansive with turquoise water and white sand. Some other wonders of nature includes "staircase to the moon," a monthly phenomena where the moon comes out of the water in a red colour with the reflection looking like staircase. There are also boab trees here and mangrove, where the trees live part time in the water by the sea.

I'm not sure if I can find work here because there are too many backpackers here now. I am also probably too late for pearl farm recruiting too. Let's see how it goes... not sure if I have time to have the option to extend a second visa now.

Pinnacles Desert + Monkey Mia

This time I made it in time for the bus to leave Perth, thank god. I had a stopover at Cervantes for one night before Monkey Mia to see the Pinnacles Desert. I met 2 HK girls on the bus which was a bit rare, and I was hanging out with them since. The hostel at Cervantes were almost empty with only a handful of people. The place was clean and organized so we were quite happy with it. There was almost nothing in that town other than a mini market, bottle shop and souvenir shop. We signed up for the desert tour on the same day and we went after a bit of resting.



The desert is quite a sight and the tour guide took us to all the places with the best views. It's made up of a bunch of limstone rock formations poking out of the ground. There was rain before so it was a bit cloudy. I guess we could have gotten better pictures, and that's one of the only things you want to get out of going there.





I felt thankful for the girls taking care of my meals during my stay there. The next day we checked out the beach which was beautiful with turquoise green water. It was quite windy that day with waves, and suddenly, the ocean has completely washed up onto the beach unexpectedly so I got soaked in my jeans. Luckily I didn't drop into the ocean which would get my bag with important things wet or have gotten myself washed away into the ocean. They always say you gotta respect the ocean. However, it was windy enough that I was dried off in half an hour.





The girls went separate ways to Calbarri, while I headed to Monkey Mia. They would be passing by Monkey Mia after a few days. When I got to Monkey Mia, it was at around 11pm. I didn't expect it to be slow right now, and I was really surprised to go into an empty 7 bed room. Because of my foolish move, the other 2 English people wanted to sleep in my room since the one they were supposed to go in was nearly full. What could I do? Nothing. My chance of having my own room is gone. Monkey Mia is actually a resort with the option for dorm rooms, camping and caravan parking. It's actually not even a town, but a beachfront resort. I met a German girl on the bus and we hung out most of the time during her stay.


The next morning, I went to watch the first dolphin feeding. The first time is always extremely exciting. The rangers would talk for some time while the dolphins hang out by the shore. Then when the time is ready, the volunteers would come down with buckets of fish and choose a few lucky people to feed them. Yay, I was picked out of the crowd by one of the volunteers. There are 3 feedings in the morning and it all depends on the dolphins' moods. They only feed 5 specific ones, and other ones come in to hang out. The pelicans are fed after the dolphins, because otherwise they would try to fight over the fish. I love the Pelicans! They are so comical, colourful, and big! The bottom of their beaks are flappy and flexible, and their necks can be twisted in so many ways.












There is no reception at all for my cell phone, and there isn't much other than an even shittier mini market than the one in Cervantes with really highly priced food. The keyboard of the internet is crap and it goes for $1 for 10 minutes. There is one restaurant and one bar/cafe. No shuttle bus to go outside of this place is offered, unless one would rent a car. When I first got here, I felt like I might be trapped... in a really remote place with nothing to do. I was afraid of getting bored, even for someone like me who doesn't get bored easily. After awhile, I started to get into its groove, and appreciated the nothingness of this place. I found myself lazying, sunbathing and swimming alot. Other things I would do would be cooking, nature walk, hot tub, free cruise from volunteer work, drinking wine, reading, drawing pelicans, etc. I would get into this really chilled out state without the need to meditate or whatever. I think this might be what I need to clear alot of "issues" after working 6 days a week in Perth. The ocean here is so calm and crystal clear. The horizon is long with nothing else which gets blended into the sky like some kind of wall back drop. At night, tons of stars are in the sky with visible milky way. The dark sky blends into the the ocean as well with no lights, and the water is even quieter than ever.













I really enjoy the volunteer work, and actually it's not even work at all. I still get excited when the dolphins poke my leg with their noses or rub against my leg. I'm getting a bit more familiar with one called Nicky with dots on her belly which means it is more mature. This is a place where alot of people only come for a day or two, so being here for 10 days make me feel like a local. Because I'm doing volunteer work with the dolphins, I get alot of discount, freebies, respect and alot of envious or would-like-to-get-acquainted-with-you looks.

My French buddy/co-worker will be joining me at the end of this week, so I'll see where to go from there.

Moving on...for real this time!

I was supposed to head up to Cervantes and see the Pinnacles Dessert today before my trip to Monkey Mia. One of the guys here was supposed to go with me for a couple of days and come back to Perth himself. He woke up late and we missed all the trains and busses by seconds, and even went to the wrong location for the pick up, so we have lost our greyhound ticket. I couldn't help but felt disappointed. You know the feeling when you are all ready to go and get in the mode but didn't happen? Things happen for a reason, and I was told that it must be better for me to go alone instead. OK universe, I trust you.

I got into a fight text messaging with my guy because he couldn't come see me before I go. I can understand that he is working alot but it would be nice if he would show some effort. Because today I didn't leave, I text him to call me for farewell but he never did. I can't help but feel a bit sad and disappointed but I suppose that is happening because it is another thing I have to let go of. It is so much like a repeated history of M, but I think it is time for me meet someone who can fulfill me without so much drama and troubles.

OK I am ready for the next level!

Moving on..

The boys were going to move into this 5 bedroom that costs $500 a week. I didn't think it was a good idea and one of them backed out to move into his newly met relatives in Perth. The rest were procrastinating until Saturday, the day when they had to move out from the flat.

One of the guys went to Margaret River with another friend by noon. Luckily, they got a number to call about a 2 bedroom nearby. They actually could move in on the same day with no deposit required. The place is modern, spacious and nice with flamingo malibu coloured walls. After all the stress, I was truly happy to see how overjoyed the two of them were after they went to see the place. I went there after my work to have a house warming and 3 of us got super drunk.

I stayed at the original flat for a few more days after the owner had came back from his filming project in Thailand and Laos. We shared our stories in the middle of the night since we had conflicting schedules. He mentioned that he was getting bites but I guess it didn't cross his mind that I was the one who brought them into his place. He asked why I was smiling... I tried not to say too much about that and offered him my tea tree oil. We would exchange written notes to communicate since we didn't get to see each other which was kinda cute.

I finally told work that I was leaving and so did Martin, my friend with a super strong French accent. We are gonna leave at around the same time. I am going to miss having coffee and marlboro reds with him during our 1 hour breaks. I felt like I have started to get into gypsy mode again.

I had to leave the place by Wednesday and the guys let me sleep in the living room of their new flat. Last night, I slept on the couch with my legs bent so it wasn't the most comfortable. Tonight I will put the cushion from the couch on the floor to sleep. Luckily, there's a heater here because it's starting to get chilly in Perth. Eventhough this scenario sounds bad but I actually feel very comfortable in this modern funky place. The old one was too cramped for this amount of people.

I have to send a bunch of stuff home before I move onto Monkey Mia. I have been looking for new jeans since I got FATTER! I'm not Jenny G's size anymore, from size 6 (oz size) to 7-8 now. I don't mind but I gotta work on my abs for sure. I am contemplating on these Wrangler's but the colour is too light for my liking.

I'm looking into getting greyhound to stop at the Pinnacles Dessert before I head to Monkey Mia. It's supposed to be eerie and picturisque.

"My guy" has finally called me since his departure from the flat. He suggested for me to come back and live with him alone. I don't know if it's a good idea, since Anthony is coming to look for me (yay!). I know I will be with Anthony 24/7, but if I see this guy again, I would like to be with him alone too. Because of An, I might want to extend my visa to stay another year here but that means I have to do more seasonal work. My plan as of now is to join Eric and Hugo (Tina and Laura's friends) to go fruit picking up north. Those dudes bought a van to live in so they can surf up along the coast. Very backpacker style. I'm supposed to go to South East Asia before I go home too, so actually 4 months sounds like a very short time with all the things that are presented to me. I can't plan right now so I can only focus on the short term future.

The town I'm staying in is called Fremantle, and its charm is starting to get to me. It has some cobblestone paved roads with funky shops and a very chilled vibe. I think I am going to miss this place.. and of course the guys.

There has been so much drama in the apartment in the past weekend. As Alex has said on the phone, "it's like a reality tv show." No doubt. Maybe thanks to matrixers for shifting my consciousness once again so that my life can continue in its crazy manner.

The 5 of us were in the house and we finally got into a fight, since I have asked them to move out a few days earlier than they were supposed to. It was horrible. I felt sad and even slammed the door on one of them. Then, I had to go to work in the evening. When I came home after work, they were all drunk with a few more company at the place. Someone broke a liquor bottle and I rushed out to clean after them...vacuuming and all that with a straight-or-beyond-pisssed face. They were super drunk and probably scared too so a bunch of them ran out of the door. Then my guy kept clinging onto me and...anyhow too much happened in one day...

Even after that, I still had to clean up after them here and there. I was pissed and arranged the available word fridge magnets saying:

To all my lovely boys,

Please lather shine you and your place

and my sweet butt

love always

your most gorgeous luscious hot goddess of eternity.

Basically, I had to deal with alot of my own emotions for the past few days. I have been doing alot of new age self talk to keep myself from going insane. The boys got a nice pad after this week and I am still invited to stay until the time I have to leave. I feel things are settling down a bit for me tonight finally. Maybe because I finally got to talk things out with my guy instead of getting upset through the endless chatters in my own head during work.

I have met a couple of hippies from my restaurant who both live in vans. One of them took me out and really appreciated me. He offered to help me in whatever way I might need. The other dude is a travelling artist and offered me a ride to Monkey Mia so I think that might be a good opportunity.

I finally met Tina and Laura's friends here, after only talking on cellphones during our trips in Oz. We smoked joints and drank. Eventhough we are friends only because of mutual friends, it still felt like good old times.

Not sure what's going on next. Some of the boys are leaving while others are settling in Perth. I might end up missing them and come back, or they can find me wherever I will be. They definitely have been an interesting group of friends during my trip.

Perth

This is the first update since I came to Perth. Things have been upside down since I got here.


I was heading to the airport with 2 other guys after saying our long goodbyes to everyone at the Elephant backpackers. When we got there, we realized we were quite late for check in already...and that our luggages were way over the 15 kg limit. Each extra kg cost $33, and Christian had 3 luggages with one that weight 27kg on its own. We would have to pay over $1000 to get everything there, otherwise we would have to lose our plane tickets. We had 10 minutes to decided and I suggested one person to stay behind. Poor Dominic ended up being stuck with some of our luggages while me and Christian took off with one luggage each.


When I was on the airplane, I kept laughing and shaking my head at how ridiculous my journey was. All my tops were in my other luggage and I had to wear 2 dresses for god knew how long.


When we got to Perth at 12:30 am, the streets were very lifeless. The hostel we checked in was quite dodgy with 2 guys who claimed to have got beaten up previously. We were so hungry and were scared to walk to McDonald's at that hour so we ended up eating some really old pizza at the closest opened stand.


So I spent a few days with Christian alone, and luckily everyone managed to come to Perth with all our luggages. I didn't think I would see my luggage this soon. Unfortunately, all the hostels in Perth was completely booked and we had to sneak them in to stay in our rooms. We had to share our dorm beds with the others. Let's just say it had been an interesting experience. However, I didn't really like it when I came back from work and saw 2 guys hanging out in my bed watching tv, with their feet on my pillow.


I got a job at a strange Asian cafe restaurant owned by Cambodians in a suburb called Fremantle which is closer to the beaches. They don't pay so well, but they would pay cash every night so it's good enough for me. I've been working there for 2-3 weeks now and I've grown to like it. At first, I got my big German friend Dominic working there which was pretty funny. Now I got my friend Martin, whom I met up with from Melbourne, to work there with me. He's a shy French guy with no waitering experience, so that was pretty funny. It was frustrating at first because his English is not so good, but now he's getting much better at it. Laksa, Green Curry Chicken Rice, no problemo. The other day, I realized I'm getting over my fear of working in restaurants, even after spilling a bunch of pop and wine on a customer one time. I also quite enjoy helping out in the kitchen whenever they allow me. I like cutting up vegetables, and today I had to pealed spring roll pastry sheets apart which was pretty fun. It's also quite funny to see their younger son bathing in the sink at the back of the kitchen. Yes, very hygienic.


My wrist is still not completely healed but it's manageable with waitressing. Since I came here, I've been having skin problems. There were red bumps all over my body that were super itchy. I went to a pharmacy and they said I might be allergic to the water here. There would be new bumps everyday, and after awhile some of my roommates got the same thing. I went to another pharmacy after a couple of weeks and figured it might really be bed bugs or some kind of bites. I washed all my clothes at once and I think that helped. I don't have new bumps anymore but still recovering from the old ones. Phew.


I found a flat/apartment for 3 weeks at a dirt cheap price. The owner picked me out of all the people since we chatted for 2 hours during our meeting. I was kicked out of my hostel bed (it happens from time to time) because of double booking, and the owner let me stay with him before he left for Thailand. It was good to save the $50 for 2 days of accommodation. Anyhow, Dominic got a flat on his own, and now there are 4 guys staying with me in the 2 bedroom, with random visitors from time to time. It's a bit more people than I would have like. In the beginning, I didn't feel good about the whole idea but I was being nice because I knew they all wanted to get out of the hostel. There have been alot of dramas and tensions between some of the boys since we came to Perth, but now I think everyone is somewhat getting along and everything is becoming adjusted. In the beginning, I was so pissed because no one cleaned up the kitchen after I came home from a 10 hour shift, so I threatened to kick them out. I felt like I'm mothering a bunch of guys. But honestly, kicking them out would be tough thing to do, like burning bridges. At least I can stay in my big room all by myself whenever I can't handle the crowd.


In Perth, I have bumped into many people I have met in the past. It seems like all the backpackers are here now. I have reunited with the cute German boys from Shepparton which was nice.


I have been around alot of guys and only guys (alot younger too). I do feel very honoured to be the only girl and can't deny that I get quite a bit of attention. There also has been some sexual tension and flirtation going on. I'm glad my mojo has came back because I didn't know when I would see it again. Me and one of the guys like each other alot. We like the same things, see the good in each other, and of course, attracted to each other. But guess what, he has a girl back home. Story of my love life.


I have been reading the Reconnection book. Apparently, as I'm reading the book, I'm already attuning to the new frequencies. I tried working with it last night on my friend and I think I'm getting alot out of it. I miss working with Matrix back in Vancouver and I think I need to make more of a conscious effort to stay in the state. I know all the matrixers have been growing and expanding like crazy so I need to do some catching up.


I have just got some new plans for my upcoming journey. I booked a volunteer spot at Monkey Mia up north to work with dolphins for 5 days! I'm gonna be using frequency 16 alot when I'm there. I'm quite excited about this opportunity and I know it will be one of the highlights of my trip.


These are all pics in Perth:






Cottlesloe Beach






small beach at Fremantle





view point of Fremantle

Perth for Rebirth! -MG

Last night I have made a last minute booking to head to Perth. Bye bye Melbourne... it has been good times indeed.

This time I'm traveling first time with other people. There are 4 guys and I'm going with 2 first while the others join later. It's a really nice feeling to be the only girl, and I do feel special! The people in the hostel I've been staying at are really nice and good. Everyone is friends and not too separated in groups. People have been very open and needy for my energy work, and some people want to learn from me. There's a strange Jap dude, and he is always meditating. Last night, I meditated with him and it was so intense. I was so high after and laughing like crazy. Before I thought he was annoying, but now I think we can be good help for each other, so I hope he can come to Perth to join us.

Over the weekend, I went to see a spiritual master called Amma, and I was pretty wiped out from her unconditional loving energy and hug. I was informed about this event by Bianca, a new matrixer in Melbourne referred by Alan. I enjoyed our meetings since we are aware and can share our matrix/energy experience.

Aside from doing energy work locally, I've been getting asked to do work remotely for Vancouver people. I have also recently found out about my dad's health, so I'm going to do my best to work on him. I think because of his state, he will soften his personality up a bit.

I'm in so much debt that it is beyond funny, but I think things are looking up and I want to completely trust that I will be taken care of. I still need to find my real purpose in Australia, and hope I can see what that is soon.

Con in Confest

OK, things had changed suddenly once again! I walked by the yoga/meditation/chant studio and decided to drop by and say hi. It turned out that Confest, a hippy festival in the outdoors, was that weekend. The people there tried to find a ride for me, as I debated whether it was right or not to bail out on my roommate with the dolphin tour. It was a back and forth decision which really stressed me out, but in the end, my destiny was to go to Confest.

I ended up camping for 4 days or so, and boy, was it amazing! It's like an outdoor rave without the need for drugs and the focus is not on music. It's more about spirituality, healing, nudity, community, acceptance, anti-commercialism, creativity, learning, teaching, vegetarian food, man-made music (no recorded music), fire twirling, relaxing, etc. However, you can see people drinking from time to time, and there seemed to be quite a few people on drugs at night. I met a girl who was on acid and alcohol one night at the drumming beach, and many people looking for mushroom or whatever. I was a good girl and had only sips of alcohol here and there, and maybe a few puffs of cigarettes. It's probably better for me to stay clean but mostly because I went with a bunch of veggie-eating-no-toxin-for-sure people.



There were many different areas where people can hold workshops during the day, and you can organize one by creating one on the schedule board. Workshops I had been to included yoga, tantric meditation, kundalini massage (I left...too intimate!), pranic healing, self enquiry, twin heart meditation, theta magic (attract soulmate), improvdance, shamanic experience, galactic alignment (I left bc the guy probably need some alignment in his brain).


The tantric and kundalini massage were probably not my kind of bag, especially without an intimate partner. I wouldn't exactly feel comfortable to work skin tight with naked men. It's not really about sexuality but some people have that kind of mindset. I worked with a girl for the meditation, fortunately. Later on, this guy came up to us and said he wanted to work with her and since we got together first, he thought we were gay... and that we would make a cute couple. Erm....hmm....


Theta magic was pretty cool. I have only heard about it so it was a good chance for me to see how it's done. Basically it's a lot of question probing and muscle testings to get to the root of one's issue. It's a fast process and the demo girl was really balling her eyes out and releasing her stuff. The topic of that workshop was on attracting soulmate or whatever you want in your life, so we'll see if it really works. I might want to learn this technique but I need to have an unlimited supply of abundance first. Otherwise, I think I'm knowledgeable enough to figure out how to work it.


Shamanic experience was not what I expected but still had its profound learning. The workshop was really basic such as on how to read people's energetic field, but mostly it was more about living life in the proper way. What I got out of it was being able to connect with strangers, especially the chance to stare in the eyes of this French girl who was breathtakingly beautiful. As a group, we even made a human mandala by holding every 4th person's hands.


Improvdance was interesting, and it reminded me of the twins because I think they would have loved it. We mirrored each other and follow one person's movements. Then, we did a dance through a feeling from exploring an object. After, we would watch one person in a group then we imitated and experienced his/her movements.


Other than workshops, I have learned alot from meeting random people. Also, I have received alot of healing and even a massage. I didn't feel I had enough credential to do a workshop but I did do some matrix and reiki work on people. The best part was this chiropractor who works with reconnective eneryg overheard me. He was so excited that I knew about matrix and wanted to get the matrix experience. I didn't know how much effect he would have but I guess it's whatever he wanted and needed to experience. I 2-pointed him and he collapsed on the massage table laughing (made me laugh too) with eyes fluttering rapidly and spine arching at times for 10 minutes or more. When he came back up, I wanted to do time travel, went back 2 years and another same dose of reaction.


There were kitchens where people could eat for free through contribution in cooking, cleaning and/or providing food. I could taste a bit of everything and they were nice spots to chill and hang out.


There were rivers, mud bath, sauna and hot tubs, which meant plenty of naked people roaming around. I finally got over myself and went naked in the river one day, then spent sometime alone in a "contemplative" area after. I have to say that being naked in nature felt pretty darn good. I also really enjoyed taking showers (with curtains!) by a tree with the sun shining on me.


At night, there were fire throwing and drumming performances (african, tribal) with people dancing by the fire. There were also many other areas with different kinds of music going on, whatever people wanted to contribute. The Chai tent was a popular hang out spot in the "market" as well.



There was this dude I chatted with who was somehow really drawn to me and claimed that we had a strong connection. For me, I was totally not attracted to him but he said my energy said otherwise but my body and mind were denying it. At first, I was afraid that he was right, then I thought...no way...BS! I know what I like and that's just his opinion anyways.


It was so nice to be able to connect with any strangers, receive and get tons of healing, shifting more, eat for free, etc. I looked in the mirror when I came back to the city, and wow, do I look so fresh so clean! My skin was nice and I was glowing. Maybe nature, maybe clearings, u know? I was walking around with a big smile the whole day and not as afraid to look or smile at people. Generally, I felt more awareness and acceptance within me.


-----------------

My roommate has gone on the dolphin tour without me, which turned out to be crap for her. It was cold and there were no dolphins. I felt a bit bad, so I hope I can make it up to her. Today I have cancelled my tour and BS about having to leave so I got a full refund back. The temperature is starting to drop now, so I hope to meet some dolphins another time.

It was nice to see Rodrigo again, but of course we annoyed each other quickly. We had to say goodbye again and this time is most likely the last time. I met a Japanese girl from him/ his hostel as well. She's older and would laugh at alot of things in a very funny and cute way.

I might have a chance to be an artist assistant for a commerical artist who does portraiture around the world. Many things are paid for with salary on top of that. He actually waited for my application since I have mentioned that I went to art school. We had a good conversation so I'll see if this opportunity will work out. Otherwise, I probably need a vacation from my vacation due to my injured wrist. Maybe I go back to Vancouver soon? Maybe travel around Oz and possibly the world with an artist? Maybe live in seclusion with a bunch of hippies?

Hmm...where to start? It's been a long time! I haven't heard much from many of my friends either. I wonder if the memory of me has been somehow slowly disappearing from their lives?

Last week I finally went to see a physiotherapist for my wrist pain. Apparently, I have injured the tendon of my wrist, which he named it as a "nasty injury" and a "boring injury to treat." Thank, doc. It's ok since his cuteness makes up for it. So that means no more fruit picking/ South Australia plans for me, or working in restaurants (maybe a blessing?). I don't really know if I can do much and it's a even bit frustrating to cut up vegetables for dinner. Things come up and plans change again. I guess I will have to stay in Melbourne for awhile, and not even move around hostels because of my luggages, although I have been offered help by a young German boy from Elephant BP.


After I found out about this, I was scheduled to work at Formula 1 Grand Prix for the Ferrari booth the past weekend. Not that I have ever been into things like that, but it did feel good to be a Ferrari girl. I was pretty excited to get a free top with the colour and style that I wanted. The days were long (10-12 hours with 1 short break) and 2 out of 3 days were almost up to 40 degrees!! I was lacking sleep and the place was dry, dusty, dirty, sweaty, and windy at times. It's nice to be doing retail work again, and eventhough it was tiring, everyone had fun. I also found out that Spanish guys are quite cute.


I had been hanging out with Dan for the past 2 weeks, and had checked out all the gay bars in Melbourne. Dermot from Shepparton also came down to Melbourne for a few days before leaving to NZ, and it was good to be with him for his last days in Oz since those times are one of the most memorable for alot of people. Time has flew by and I still don't have any solid work. What the hell was I so busy with? No idea. Dan has finally left with his German friends to drive along Great Ocean Road to Adelaide, then to outback, Alice Springs, and end up in Darwin. All in 2-3 weeks! Uh...good luck. Just when I felt weird to be alone again, I keep finding new random companies. There has been 2 Taiwanese girls whom I would have washroom chats from time to time. One I have briefly met from the last time I stayed in the hostel has accompanied me to see some live bands in Fitzroy. I asked her because I have only been going to gay bars and was hoping to see the real local scene. It felt like what I wanted would show up for me finally. Even just once is better than nothing.

I also met up with French guy from Shepparton, and the DJ from facebook. Yup, and Rodrigo has came to watch F1 so it's nice to meet him again and show him around. He looks even more ghetto with his hair growing out now.

Meg came before for a weekend and I'm fed up with hearing her repetitive dramas. She really drains my energy when she does that. I hope she finds her man and excitement or whatever.

I found a Gem in Fitzroy- a yoga/meditation centre that only charges by donation or nothing at all. I went in and enjoyed a yoga/chi kung class, with a free meal after that. Then a chanting session and a free chai. Chanting the same old mantra seems to be the main thing for these peope. It was good timing and I went to a retreat with them to someone's house away from the city. We did alot of chanting, did yoga by a river, and had 2 delicious vegetarian meals with Chai and desserts. I haven't been back because of bad timing but I plan to attempt to go in sometime this week.


There have been alot of festivals here such as the Moomba festivals where people chill by the Yarra river to watch wakeboard competition and go on carnival rides for 3 days. Right next to this event was Future Music Festival in Botanical Garden. I walked by and Chicks on Speed was coming on. I wish I was in there but it was sold out long time ago and I can't really splurge on something like that anyways.

I started checking out the big art galleries and they are pretty awesome. The best part is the no charge part. They have really ancient national and international art along with some contemporary exhibitions. I also enjoy the random alley lanes in Melbourne that are filled with graffiti. One time I went into one and ended up in an art gallery with a street artist exhibition.

I don't know what to do now since I can't work at alot of jobs. Maybe it's time to go home? But most of all, I just need to rest my wrist and not be too stressed about finding work. I have planned to finally do the dolphin swim tour with my German roommate, so that's going to be very exciting.

hostel update

I have been hostel hopping again. When I got to the hippy hostel after 3 hours of sleep after a big night partying and walking for 15 minutes with my monstrous baggages, I really wasn't feeling that messy dirty chaos with the smell of a rave it had to offer. I took off and went to Dan's hostel, All Nations, which turned out to be a creepy shit hole. The rooms were of third world country with the same price tags as other more than decent hostels in the city. The only pro is the washroom was modern and relatively clean. I booked there for 3 nights, but it was nice to start cooking and eating dinner with Dan. We've been hanging out alot and so far he doesn't annoy me. I could be a bit more productive though in looking for work. After those 3 days, I moved to the Elephant, which was cheap for the city. So what's the catch? Reviews say that there are no roofs...what does that mean? It meant that the walls don't meet the roofs so basically it's one big ass floor that get sectioned off. I can say I'm sharing the space with a hundred people or something, since I could hear my neighbour clipping his/her nails at night. Luckily, my room is by the window/door, otherwise I would be sleeping in a cubicle. I tried to open the door, and it did, with absolutely nothing outside. That means I can jump/walk out of the room from the second floor.

I'll update on other activities later. I gotta go for now.

It's been awhile since I have updated because internet minutes in Melbourne is worth as much as gold. Aha, I found free internet in libraries...better yet, the big one in the city where there are tons of terminals so that's where I am at the moment.

update in short form because I have to meet my gay German friend-

• Reiki was nice but I ruined the high vibration with massive partying for 2 nights with German people from Shepparton. They were nice peeps and they left Melbourne on Saturday morning.

• First night of partying with them was on my birthday.

• I went out for Indian food with a Japanese girl called Miki whom I have met the day before. She seems very nice and into health/organic/yoga/country side type. Too bad she had to leave in only a couple of days.

• My first batch of roommates gave me chocolate eggs for my birthday and I had barely even seen them.

• Didn't expect to be with anyone so more than what I have wanted.

• My milk and salad dressing got stolen at the hostel.
  

• Some new Irish roommates came. One of them was having sex for 2 nights in a row in the room...I think with 2 different guys. I wasn't thrilled to be woken up at around 6am to her moaning (shivers).

• Meg (Jap) decided to come to Melbourne overnight. I felt very stressed and drained around her. I didn't want to listen to her petty dramas from Shepparton anymore. She didn't book a room as well. I left her with the other Shepparton people at some lame bar and I went to bed myself. I couldn't party anymore. She slept in the morning on the couch at my hostel. I wasted my weekend for sightseeing because she was around.

• I have moved to a suburb called Prahan/Chapel Street. It's kinda trendy up market with lots of restaurants, pubs, shops and second hand stores. The hostel is small and an old victorian building. I paid a bit more for a balcony. Yes, I'm a posh backpacker.
  

• I got a job at a telemarketing company. I hadn't even called anyone and it fell through, but it was a big relief off my shoulder. At least they paid me for training.

• I had an interview at a club/bar for cloakroom or bussing. We'll see how that goes.

• I went to another suburb called Fritzroy. It's arty and bohemian with alot of live music at night, kinda like Commercial Drive. I found a hippy hostel which I might move into next week.

• I stumbled across a yoga mediation place that doesn't charge people an arm and a leg in Fritzroy. I waited for the $5 donation class in the evening, and turns out people live and help out there. Everything was given out of generosity and cultivation. We did yoga and chi kung, followed by a free vegetarian meal,then did half hour of chanting with instruments, and finished with a chai. I'm going to their retreat ($10 donation!) this Saturday out in the country. Why not?
  

• I have to go meet my gay friend (Dan) who just left Shepparton today to go skydiving for his birthday. I can't wait to hear all the gossips he has to tell me. I think I'll try to find a proper club this time instead of those backpacker shnit.
  

Melbourne + reiki

My last day at the hostel was great. I went tomato picking with 2 new friends at the pimp's farm. This time at least I can laugh about him with other people. It was a really hot day and we decided to finish by 1 o'clock. Haha, I have only picked 6 bins. Many tomatoes were wrecked so raising 50 cents for 1 bin meant nothing. So I was supposed to get $18 but he gave me $20, like last time when he rounded it to $40 from $37.50. After that, I suggested to go to the local pool to cool off. We tried to catch the bus and ended up having to call a taxi, realizing that there were no buses at all on the weekends! Walking into the outdoor pool on a hot day was an amazing feeling, so we swam and lounged a bit on the side. Then, we did the whirl pool and sauna. Good stuff. When we came out, it was such a tranquil relaxing feeling! Apparently, we could walk through the river/park/forest which is on the way back. The quality of the river was like a swamp but was still very pictureque with the reflection of trees which carried an unique serenity. The trees in the forest/park were somewhat far apart or scarce and extended the same quality as the river. Suddenly, 3 kangaroos jumped passed us!! Not exactly too common in that town apparently. We got back onto the road and tried to hitchhike. We were about to give up after a few minutes because it seemed so awkward. Then, a truck pulled over and we got a free ride, yay!

Of course I had to party the last night, so I went out to the city with people from the hostel. Brad Pitt came but his buddy backed out, boo! Brad Pitt ended up having to sleep one hour before going to work drunk. Gotta give props to that.

After I left the Shepparton hostel, I had this strange reminiscing feeling again. It's like doing a series of yoga poses and coming into stillness to reflect on what had all happened. I felt like I was seeing the bigger picture again and I didn't want to go home for awhile now.

I like Melbourne. The energy is much better than Sydney, an artsy relaxed vibe in the city centre comparing to anxious-gotta-get-to-point-A-ASAP-speedwalking people. Besides, the place seems smaller or managable and public transportation seems pretty good. There are also many Asians here and cheap authentic Indian food. The downside is that internet is frigging expensive!

The hostel I'm staying in is by Flinders Station. It's a huge ass hostel which is not good for a single traveller like me because I can't meet people. I bumped into some Germans from Shepparton so we might go out on the weekend after I'm done with my reiki course. I've been busy with it anyways so I don't feel so lonely as of now.

Yes reiki! My teacher is quite a character, a little scrawny and theatrical. He would suddenly talk in an Indian or Scottish accent sometimes. I'm not sure if that's really appropriate but whatever. There are 60 students in class so he had to do most of the attunements as a group. For the kind of class size, I have to say he does a good job. I wasn't sure what to expect to feel since I have gone through matrix already, but now I remember reiki's power and love in its simplicity. I feel like I'm going through a cleanse with a big thirst for water. The practice sessions make me and many others want to fall asleep. One interesting thing today was that we went into small groups to do group healing on one person. The woman we were working on asked if I did spiritual work. She said she was clairvoyant and she saw very clearly a young Japanese woman with traditional Japanese hair style guiding me. Her name is Skimo or something. Interestingly enough, I'm talking to Alan online and apparently he has a knight as a guide.

I think I want to stay in Melbourne for awhile to make some money.

Moving on soon...

One day I went into the city and stumbled across a place called "The Shoe Gallery." It was a warehouse setting with tons of shoes for cheap. I was in there for 2 hours and ended up buying 2 pairs of shoes for $68 AU. That's alot of space taken up in a backpack/luggage. I had to because they were good quality...I mean a pair of Gola runners for $29...couldn't pass up on them. I even gave up on a pair of $10 heels already. I don't know why but I haven't shopped alot for clothes here as I have been picky since I'm trying to limit my bag space. Ok, I know clothing is lighter and smaller than shoes. Being in that warehouse brought out the shoe consumer in me.

Other than that, the town is small and nice. I find the bus ride interesting. It comes every one hour and it plays music. There is even a garbage bin, strange.

I am going to do another day of tomato picking because Joe the pimp was a nice farmer. This time it will be with 5 other people and I will try using a insect repellent spray. I'm leaving soon this Sunday. It's nice to start to get to know the people here eventhough I don't think I belong to any "cliques." It's also time for me to get out of this prison/ Beverly Hills 90210.

Seeing those 2 German guys being such good friends make me miss my friends alot one night. Especially when everyone started speaking in German at the table, it got a bit uncomfortable for me at some point.

I'll update when I'm in Melbourne. Reiki here I come.

Seasonal work...*groan*...

Note: Some people have been asking me who is Rodrigo. He is the Brazillian guy who I have always been mentioning.

I started work at a packing shed the next day after arriving in Shepperton. On the first day, I remembered the hand held Nintendo Mario Bros. game I used to play where they had to transport the boxes on conveyor belts without dropping them, a documentary called...um... "something Landscape" which is based on the sceneries of China's pollution and factory work settings, and carnival games at Playland or something. I was thinking philosophically the whole day, and actually quite enjoyed the monotonous work. I'm on the slow side but people always help each other out and there were not judgements like many other jobs. By the 4th day, I was burnt out. It wasn't full time so I had a couple of days off at the prison like backpacker hostel (there's nothing outside especially if you don't have a car). I actually went out partying on Saturday night in this hick town. The second place we went to was so ghetto and trashy, eg. some girl who slid on the floor right to my feet. I had fun anyways because I have little crushes on these 2 really cute German roommates. One of them looks like Brad Pitt and came off a bit cool at first. The other guy looks like some Japanese manga character with a pretty face. He is kind of cute when he says stupid things in front of me. I think being and working here makes me and Meg think too much because there is nothing to do or see. She had this crush on this other guy and I think we found out that he turned out to be gay last night. Maybe I need to get out of here soon.

Yesterday I tried tomato picking alone. The farmer who picked me up was kind of pimp, listening to rap and decked out in gangsta style decor in the car. He was really nice though since he got me free food, coffee, fruits and 2 pops. He even paid me more than he was supposed to because I was so damn slow. My back was hurting after but some yoga therapy helped alot. My arse is mega soar today though (What do you call a gay dinosaur? Megasoaurus- Gip's joke).

Today I tried pear picking. The farmer was so agro and mad at this other picker that he almost wanted to beat him up, it was insane. I got hit by a pear on my nose and was bleeding quite a bit for a few minutes. Imagine me bending over watching blood dripped chuckling, while the other 2 guys stood there watching me. Anyhow, for both fruit picking jobs, I was quite slow and didn't make much money.

I have finally made the decision to leave Manly on Sunday. I said my farewell to Rodrigo, and the way we talked was a bit different than usual. He wasn't too pleased with the fact that his friends are leaving all the time. When I walked home, I had a lump in my throat. I guess that's when I know I have developed a little bit of feelings for someone.

I went to buy a bag to carry my stuff, and realized it wasn't the best choice before I left the house because I had trouble strapping it onto the cart. I missed the first ferry, but I still had a second chance. I was freaking out at Meg, thought I was going to have to go the next day, and sweating like a pig (my legs were wet!) in the hot humid room. Anyhow, somehow I made it onto the ferry, then city train, and almost missed my booked train. I made it though. I left my hat there, will I ever learn?

After train of 7 hours, and another 2 hour bus ride. I have arrived in Shepparton at 6:30am. My god, this place is like Langley or Chilliwack or any BC suburbs. Is that what they meant by the real Australia? The hostel is a revamped old hospital with railings along the wall. No more free internet too.

WTH....

After the post yesterday, I felt quite confused and strange. I went to Rodrigo's to watch a movie, and I talked with him about my situation and feelings. I wasn't sure if I was ready to leave this place, is it attachment or am I not ready to be on the go again? Not sure about the farmer thing, as he might not pick me to be in his house (being judged again). For the past few days, I could look at all the difficulties in the bigger picture and felt that I am enjoying this whole process. I can say that I felt in control internally before, but yesterday, my emotions were completely out of control even when things are not... so bad? What guys don't understand is that women just want someone to listen to them instead of having something solved sometimes. Eventually, he got annoyed with me and became very insensitive, so I went off crying... sat at my rock. So confused and noisy in my head. I centred myself a bit and slept it off.

So I was wandering around today and saw a sign that says free healing. Out of curiosity, I went in, and it turned out to be a Christian thing. They were offering free prayers, so what the heck, I went for it. They were offering me their help if I'm in trouble and even gave me a contemporary full on bible for free! I feel a bit confused now... when I came out I felt something and a bit like the matrix effect. Spirituality is such a funny thing, but I really don't want to be a Christian.

The real Australia living

I have talked to a farmer and it's quite possible that I'm going to go berries picking now. I would be living in his house with a few people plus free food. The hourly pay is somewhat reasonable, considering I have my living expense taken care of. He wants someone to do driving and delivery with him for 12 hours a day in the beginning of the week, with a flat rate in cash. For the fruit picking, the hours are up to me depending on how much work I want to do. On his days off, he enjoys and takes the gang to fly his plane and go sailing, so they can see the real Australia. He has suggested to actually meet with me tomorrow first because he wants everyone to get along which is hard sometimes. He's looking for someone who is outgoing and outdoorsy. I'm not sure if I'm rough enough for them, but I wouldn't mind going sailing and plane riding. If everything goes smoothly, then I will be picked up on Saturday. I'm not sure what the internet situation is, so I might not be online as much. Other than that, life is going to be definitely different for sure!



On an interesting note, I dreamt a couple of times about going back to my home to pick up clothing pieces I need. I wish I have my Gravis shoes.



Not all of my friends are having a tough time and I have more readers than I thought. Don't be shy and leave a comment, because...uh....I would appreciate it?



Here are some good news happening back home-

• Congratulations to Alex! He's going to settle down and get married in March! YAY~ When I come back, we are going to Lotus to party it up
  
• Janice H- She and her hubby John is leading a new healthy life. Thanks to Lululemon...-_-"
  

On Friday, I ended up going to a BBQ unexpectedly with the Jap girl's ESL classmates. Here are the metal box grills that are open for public use. It was a bit ghetto because they bought some cheap food which we had to eat without utensils, and all the money went to the shopping cart full of beer. We drank til night time and my Jap friend even swam in her underwear.

All I want to say is that everyday is different for me. I had some good matrix work done with Mark online, and I've been getting back into spiritual work (meditation, yoga, reiki, matrix, busting loose, etc.). I am in a good space these days, like even with all the difficulties, I could see everything in the bigger picture. It doesn't matter if some things have been "bad" or "good," because I am learning and growing in every way. Alan said I should figure out my goal so I can get the best out of this trip. From our conversation, I realized that I don't have any set goals because my learning has been happening right in my face. Situations pop into my life that challenge alot of my past conditioning. After all, it really doesn't matter what you do or don't do. If my higher self is creating everything for me, then of course I'm not supposed to have it easy to begin with!

I talked to Rosa online and she sent me some Carlos Castaneda links which she has only recently dived into. After I got offline, I was at the beach drinking mate with Mr. Brazillian. Somehow, he has picked up a Castaneda book also. Very strange! I was surprised because he's not into spiritual work, but I guess he just finished reading "The Alchemist." He wasn't feeling well that day, so I offered to heal him. Eventhough he was skeptical, he was finally opened to my healing. Well, I have changed another non-believer that day. What can I say?

So my plan was to leave this place around a week from now according to my notice for my roomate. I'm still unsure of where to go yet, but either Melbourne or fruit pick/packing somewhere. Until today, I walked by an organic store/cafe where they had a sign out looking for workers. I chatted with the guy there and applied, so this will be my last shot at Manly. If I get this job, then I will stay. The last few days I have been thinking that I might miss this place alot. One evening, I sat at the wharf with Brazillian drinking mate and listening to his guitar while watching the sunset over the mountains. So nice, you know? I thought that I would like to live in a place where I can swim in the ocean whenever I want. What more can I ask for? I think I would be very satisfied.

I don't know why I haven't used my friends' real names yet, or care about their privacies. Since I will probably mention Brazillian again, his name is Rodrigo. He has a nick name too but I'll stick with Rodrigo here. Jap girl is on her way to fruit packing now, but anyways, her name is Meg. Our parting was very anti-climatic just like another day, because I wasn't sure when is the last time I will see her.

Nowadays, I'm just going online, chilling at the beach, shopping for groceries, and cooking. I picked up a book from a second hand bookstore today called "Handbook to Higher Consciousness." It's from the 70s and cost me $4 Au. I have to watch my budget so I can't afford those $20+ spanking new books. I have been searching for a good read at the right price for sometime now. It must be the tourists during the summer season picking up all the good ones that I had my eyes on before.

It seems like alot of my friends in Vancouver are going through some troubles. If you are one of them reading this, then I send you some healing...right here and now (pause and receive). I love you!

Constant changes

I went for a trial shift for the massage job, and she didn't feel comfortable putting me on a real shift yet. It's probably not something up my alley, as the job wanted me to massage and up-sell a stranger in 5 minutes, with 10 people in an hour. Australians like to hire "bubbly" people, and I am just not really the bubbly chatty type 24/7. This time I don't feel upset about it, but am trying to figure out what the hell is going on with me or Sydney. Both managers from the two workplaces were unsure about me for some strange reasons. This one said she can usually decide on whether if someone is suitable or not, but not with me. The last one said she can't tell and wanted to hear what I thought. I think if I show that I want to try in either places, I can definitely stay.

The Japanese girl said that when people have energy work done, things happen. Mark said I'm having ascension symptoms. I hope to believe that is the reason rather than my incapability to do or stick with anything, which has always been an issue of mine. I feel like I'm stuck in the middle, and perhaps I am only suitable for certain environments. I also feel that I don't really connect with the people here. Maybe Sydney really isn't the right place for me, and changes are happening with no stopping.

I'm probably making a move soon! Unfortunately, I found out I have to give 2 weeks notice to my roommate. It won't be as soon as I thought, so I can't leave with the Japanese girl to go fruit pick/packing. The timing is kind of odd, because I would have another 2 weeks until the course when I leave this place, unless I want to throw my rent money down the drain (again).

I feel at a loss here.

What goes up must come down..easy come easy go...

The past few days were like a total crash down from the bliss. That guy I met made me realize how messed up I am emotionally from my past relationships, combined with some unhappy little incidents at work, made all the negative things that I have always felt about myself came pouring out like a river. I felt so inadequate and useless, with little desire to live. It's ok because I knew it would pass and it did.

I had a review with the restaurant and the manager told me her observation and wanted to know how I felt. I could definitely stay if I showed that I wanted to learn and was happy to do this job. What she told me was right and I had to be honest with myself, so I let go of the job which probably works out for both of us. What I learn is that it is not about my incapability to do restaurant work, but my past fear and dislike that were imprinted in my subconsciousness. They were too hard to get rid of and are shown through the way I work.

Damn past!!

I had my last days at work with a company party to end things off. There was a new gay Thai co worker, and he was pole dancing and flaunting his stuff. Some of the straight guys were not really accustomed to that. Many people were drunk and he asked my manager in front of everyone why I had to leave. It was a little bit awkward for me at the time, but of course it ended with a joke she made. I got a few extra free meals from the leftovers so I can feed myself a little bit. This week I'm doing trial shifts for the massage job, so I'll see how it goes. If things don't work out, I will probably head to Melbourne/Victoria early with my friend to do some fruit packing work. It's strange because I remembered last night I was dreaming about making a decision to go to 2 different farms, but with a weird twist of course.

Weather has been rainy and cloudy for almost a week now. It's like Vancouver but at least not freezing here.

I got wasted with the Jap girl at the local clubs again on Friday night. She is leaving soon, so let's just say I'm doing some trashing of my body and my wallet for the last couple of times. The guys here are scary. They would ask if we would want to go home with them at the end of the night. This random guy on the street who had a chicken pie, which my girl friend took some bites out of, continued to walk with/followed us. I insisted to walk her home because it seemed like she couldn't take care of herself in that sense, if you know what I mean. Her hostel has a key pad security lock on the fence, so we went in and shut the gate quickly. While she was in the washroom, the guy took a piss outside of the tree fence. He was hanging around and trying to peek through for awhile but we could see his shadow through the holes between the leaves (dumbass). I was drunk and whispering to her that I was scared, so we kept quiet for awhile

until the coast was clear. I finally opened the gate and took a peek, no one was out there so I ran and speedwalked home. The sun started to come up which I really hate after a night of partying. I ran pass some guys we danced with earlier and I gave them one word answers while I continued my trotting. Also, I waved back at some strangers who were waving at me across the street. When I'm drunk, I'm usually on a mission like that, or maybe I think everyone is out to get me all the time. Usually I'm just glad I made it home.

On Saturday, I was waken up by a call, with a hung over. I had agreed to go out with the guy who works beside my restaurant on this day. He took me to Palm Beach which was a 30 minute drive from Manly. The heat in the car combined with my hungover made me feel carsick and not so well. I went into the ocean after we got there after awhile. The waves were quite strong and I had trouble standing with any kind of stability. The fear was there even without a surfboard, and I think I need to overcome at some point. Afterwards, we went to his place and he cooked me a meal. He is a nice guy and kinda cute, but nothing too spectacular between our interaction. Uh huh, I know I'm picky. But there was one big realization came over me during our conversation....that I'm basically cut off from the world! I was wondering why I don't know any new songs or movies coming out, because all the media in the local newspaper (Manly at least) and TV are mostly about Australia or sports. It's a bit shocking.

Sunday, the Jap girl and I had BBQ at her hostel because they had a killer grill. She bought organic chicken for me, yay! I chatted with some of the people at her hostel as well and the vibe seemed better there since the social bench was located right by the entrance. I liked that place more than my old hostel, and I wish I knew about it earlier.

I don't want to give you a quick run down of what happens everyday but having our own bbq is worth mentioning, I think!


Here's a bigger news- I went to my interview for the massage company today.

It was a group interview with 3 girls including myself. The interviewer asked some typical interview questions, and then, we were set off to go on a break where she would contact us by phone to let us know if we made it or not. My answers were horrible and I thought I was so going to be sent home. She called and said she was debating on me but would like to see my interaction skills during the massage practice. So yes, I'm in for the second round.

It looked like all 3 of us got in, with this extra Chinese girl in the room. She did her first interview in the November and was doing her second one today. She was SO (like totally) ditzy and I could not stand her! I am both turned off and amused by her, because I usually would not interact with people like that. At the end of our hands-on trial, the interviewer pulled me and the ditz to another room and said our skills sucked (okay, not in those words). I thought that was the end of it, but then she said our personalities were good so she will give us more training. So yay, I got the job! Yes, working for this company is more about 50 % massage and 50% social +sales. I could not believe my massage skills were so horrible. I also could not believe she said that girl's personality was good either. At least the ditz means no harm, compare to the Brazillian girl who works at my restaurant. I feel that she does not like me, beacuse she acts a bit condescending and bossy. She would seem annoyed whenever I did something wrong. I started to avoid her as much as I could, and talk in my own head things that I would perhaps like to say to her. Anyhow, she is leaving next week so I don't really have to deal with this issue much longer.

There has been a bit of rain and storms again. When it rained, it seemed like everyone was sluggish at work that evening. Now I remember what Vancouver feels like! Talking to some friends online about Vancouver weather really made me appreciate being away from it. I miss the place and my peeps, but perhaps the expense and troubles were all worth it afterall. I don't really see myself living somewhere else permanently, but I cannot see myself trying to dread through every winter there. Maybe if I had a car and a koala bear to cuddle with at home, then it's all good.
....wait...just talked to Tina. I had a quick run down of her version from Anthony's bday fight. I really miss and wish I was there to stick it out with them. I think that would have been my only chance to get into a fight for the first time and as a youngster (big 3-0 coming soon). Talking about it made me kind of excited, so I think I CAN live with the rain for my friends afterall...if An doesn't move away when I go back!!!

After reading my friend Mark's travel blog, I thought my travels is so bland compared to his and that I probably have nothing more to add since I have been in the same location for awhile now. But I was wrong! There are still interesting things that come up....to me, at least.


Last night, I was totally in that space again!!!! Over joyed with mild enlightenment where everything was all good. Sometimes a series of things happening get me there for some strange reason. Maybe PattyLynn's teleconferences ARE making an impact.

Yesterday, I was doing internet banking and felt a bit stressed about my finances and situation. I had to tell myself to chill out and trust that things will be okay. Before my evening shift, I received a phone call from this place I have applied to when I first came to Australia. It is a company where they have a team of people giving 5 minute massages to corporate business, events, etc. It is part time work with decent money and I can continue in other places of Australia, so I think this fits perfectly with my lifestyle and interest. It sounds like a fun job anyways and they are a big reputable company. I will have an interview with them on Monday so I am quite excited about that.

After work, the guy who works next door asked for my phone number. I thought it was pretty funny and felt flattered that I would get picked up when I look like shit at work. I am/have to be open to make new friends so I hope that he is an interesting person, and not another one of those disposable ones.

When I got home, I received emails from the reiki course in Melbourne. I was getting really excited for some reason reading the emails of registration/confirmation. I mean I knew I was basically going anyways, so it didn't seem like a good enough reason to be THAT excited. At that point, I found myself not being able to pull down my big grin. My roommate came in and I was telling him how overjoyed I was, but of course he probably thought I was crazy. I had to go to the beach at 1:30am to have some tea because I was so damn excited. I was sitting on a bench looking at the beach, while smiling like an idiot in the middle of the night. I also was hoping to prolong that feeling for as long as I could, and even tried to extend it to all over including my pals back home. So if you felt like you were having a good Thursday morning PST, let me know.

I LOVE that space. Nothing tops that.