WTH....

After the post yesterday, I felt quite confused and strange. I went to Rodrigo's to watch a movie, and I talked with him about my situation and feelings. I wasn't sure if I was ready to leave this place, is it attachment or am I not ready to be on the go again? Not sure about the farmer thing, as he might not pick me to be in his house (being judged again). For the past few days, I could look at all the difficulties in the bigger picture and felt that I am enjoying this whole process. I can say that I felt in control internally before, but yesterday, my emotions were completely out of control even when things are not... so bad? What guys don't understand is that women just want someone to listen to them instead of having something solved sometimes. Eventually, he got annoyed with me and became very insensitive, so I went off crying... sat at my rock. So confused and noisy in my head. I centred myself a bit and slept it off.

So I was wandering around today and saw a sign that says free healing. Out of curiosity, I went in, and it turned out to be a Christian thing. They were offering free prayers, so what the heck, I went for it. They were offering me their help if I'm in trouble and even gave me a contemporary full on bible for free! I feel a bit confused now... when I came out I felt something and a bit like the matrix effect. Spirituality is such a funny thing, but I really don't want to be a Christian.

The real Australia living

I have talked to a farmer and it's quite possible that I'm going to go berries picking now. I would be living in his house with a few people plus free food. The hourly pay is somewhat reasonable, considering I have my living expense taken care of. He wants someone to do driving and delivery with him for 12 hours a day in the beginning of the week, with a flat rate in cash. For the fruit picking, the hours are up to me depending on how much work I want to do. On his days off, he enjoys and takes the gang to fly his plane and go sailing, so they can see the real Australia. He has suggested to actually meet with me tomorrow first because he wants everyone to get along which is hard sometimes. He's looking for someone who is outgoing and outdoorsy. I'm not sure if I'm rough enough for them, but I wouldn't mind going sailing and plane riding. If everything goes smoothly, then I will be picked up on Saturday. I'm not sure what the internet situation is, so I might not be online as much. Other than that, life is going to be definitely different for sure!



On an interesting note, I dreamt a couple of times about going back to my home to pick up clothing pieces I need. I wish I have my Gravis shoes.



Not all of my friends are having a tough time and I have more readers than I thought. Don't be shy and leave a comment, because...uh....I would appreciate it?



Here are some good news happening back home-

• Congratulations to Alex! He's going to settle down and get married in March! YAY~ When I come back, we are going to Lotus to party it up
  
• Janice H- She and her hubby John is leading a new healthy life. Thanks to Lululemon...-_-"
  

On Friday, I ended up going to a BBQ unexpectedly with the Jap girl's ESL classmates. Here are the metal box grills that are open for public use. It was a bit ghetto because they bought some cheap food which we had to eat without utensils, and all the money went to the shopping cart full of beer. We drank til night time and my Jap friend even swam in her underwear.

All I want to say is that everyday is different for me. I had some good matrix work done with Mark online, and I've been getting back into spiritual work (meditation, yoga, reiki, matrix, busting loose, etc.). I am in a good space these days, like even with all the difficulties, I could see everything in the bigger picture. It doesn't matter if some things have been "bad" or "good," because I am learning and growing in every way. Alan said I should figure out my goal so I can get the best out of this trip. From our conversation, I realized that I don't have any set goals because my learning has been happening right in my face. Situations pop into my life that challenge alot of my past conditioning. After all, it really doesn't matter what you do or don't do. If my higher self is creating everything for me, then of course I'm not supposed to have it easy to begin with!

I talked to Rosa online and she sent me some Carlos Castaneda links which she has only recently dived into. After I got offline, I was at the beach drinking mate with Mr. Brazillian. Somehow, he has picked up a Castaneda book also. Very strange! I was surprised because he's not into spiritual work, but I guess he just finished reading "The Alchemist." He wasn't feeling well that day, so I offered to heal him. Eventhough he was skeptical, he was finally opened to my healing. Well, I have changed another non-believer that day. What can I say?

So my plan was to leave this place around a week from now according to my notice for my roomate. I'm still unsure of where to go yet, but either Melbourne or fruit pick/packing somewhere. Until today, I walked by an organic store/cafe where they had a sign out looking for workers. I chatted with the guy there and applied, so this will be my last shot at Manly. If I get this job, then I will stay. The last few days I have been thinking that I might miss this place alot. One evening, I sat at the wharf with Brazillian drinking mate and listening to his guitar while watching the sunset over the mountains. So nice, you know? I thought that I would like to live in a place where I can swim in the ocean whenever I want. What more can I ask for? I think I would be very satisfied.

I don't know why I haven't used my friends' real names yet, or care about their privacies. Since I will probably mention Brazillian again, his name is Rodrigo. He has a nick name too but I'll stick with Rodrigo here. Jap girl is on her way to fruit packing now, but anyways, her name is Meg. Our parting was very anti-climatic just like another day, because I wasn't sure when is the last time I will see her.

Nowadays, I'm just going online, chilling at the beach, shopping for groceries, and cooking. I picked up a book from a second hand bookstore today called "Handbook to Higher Consciousness." It's from the 70s and cost me $4 Au. I have to watch my budget so I can't afford those $20+ spanking new books. I have been searching for a good read at the right price for sometime now. It must be the tourists during the summer season picking up all the good ones that I had my eyes on before.

It seems like alot of my friends in Vancouver are going through some troubles. If you are one of them reading this, then I send you some healing...right here and now (pause and receive). I love you!

Constant changes

I went for a trial shift for the massage job, and she didn't feel comfortable putting me on a real shift yet. It's probably not something up my alley, as the job wanted me to massage and up-sell a stranger in 5 minutes, with 10 people in an hour. Australians like to hire "bubbly" people, and I am just not really the bubbly chatty type 24/7. This time I don't feel upset about it, but am trying to figure out what the hell is going on with me or Sydney. Both managers from the two workplaces were unsure about me for some strange reasons. This one said she can usually decide on whether if someone is suitable or not, but not with me. The last one said she can't tell and wanted to hear what I thought. I think if I show that I want to try in either places, I can definitely stay.

The Japanese girl said that when people have energy work done, things happen. Mark said I'm having ascension symptoms. I hope to believe that is the reason rather than my incapability to do or stick with anything, which has always been an issue of mine. I feel like I'm stuck in the middle, and perhaps I am only suitable for certain environments. I also feel that I don't really connect with the people here. Maybe Sydney really isn't the right place for me, and changes are happening with no stopping.

I'm probably making a move soon! Unfortunately, I found out I have to give 2 weeks notice to my roommate. It won't be as soon as I thought, so I can't leave with the Japanese girl to go fruit pick/packing. The timing is kind of odd, because I would have another 2 weeks until the course when I leave this place, unless I want to throw my rent money down the drain (again).

I feel at a loss here.

What goes up must come down..easy come easy go...

The past few days were like a total crash down from the bliss. That guy I met made me realize how messed up I am emotionally from my past relationships, combined with some unhappy little incidents at work, made all the negative things that I have always felt about myself came pouring out like a river. I felt so inadequate and useless, with little desire to live. It's ok because I knew it would pass and it did.

I had a review with the restaurant and the manager told me her observation and wanted to know how I felt. I could definitely stay if I showed that I wanted to learn and was happy to do this job. What she told me was right and I had to be honest with myself, so I let go of the job which probably works out for both of us. What I learn is that it is not about my incapability to do restaurant work, but my past fear and dislike that were imprinted in my subconsciousness. They were too hard to get rid of and are shown through the way I work.

Damn past!!

I had my last days at work with a company party to end things off. There was a new gay Thai co worker, and he was pole dancing and flaunting his stuff. Some of the straight guys were not really accustomed to that. Many people were drunk and he asked my manager in front of everyone why I had to leave. It was a little bit awkward for me at the time, but of course it ended with a joke she made. I got a few extra free meals from the leftovers so I can feed myself a little bit. This week I'm doing trial shifts for the massage job, so I'll see how it goes. If things don't work out, I will probably head to Melbourne/Victoria early with my friend to do some fruit packing work. It's strange because I remembered last night I was dreaming about making a decision to go to 2 different farms, but with a weird twist of course.

Weather has been rainy and cloudy for almost a week now. It's like Vancouver but at least not freezing here.

I got wasted with the Jap girl at the local clubs again on Friday night. She is leaving soon, so let's just say I'm doing some trashing of my body and my wallet for the last couple of times. The guys here are scary. They would ask if we would want to go home with them at the end of the night. This random guy on the street who had a chicken pie, which my girl friend took some bites out of, continued to walk with/followed us. I insisted to walk her home because it seemed like she couldn't take care of herself in that sense, if you know what I mean. Her hostel has a key pad security lock on the fence, so we went in and shut the gate quickly. While she was in the washroom, the guy took a piss outside of the tree fence. He was hanging around and trying to peek through for awhile but we could see his shadow through the holes between the leaves (dumbass). I was drunk and whispering to her that I was scared, so we kept quiet for awhile

until the coast was clear. I finally opened the gate and took a peek, no one was out there so I ran and speedwalked home. The sun started to come up which I really hate after a night of partying. I ran pass some guys we danced with earlier and I gave them one word answers while I continued my trotting. Also, I waved back at some strangers who were waving at me across the street. When I'm drunk, I'm usually on a mission like that, or maybe I think everyone is out to get me all the time. Usually I'm just glad I made it home.

On Saturday, I was waken up by a call, with a hung over. I had agreed to go out with the guy who works beside my restaurant on this day. He took me to Palm Beach which was a 30 minute drive from Manly. The heat in the car combined with my hungover made me feel carsick and not so well. I went into the ocean after we got there after awhile. The waves were quite strong and I had trouble standing with any kind of stability. The fear was there even without a surfboard, and I think I need to overcome at some point. Afterwards, we went to his place and he cooked me a meal. He is a nice guy and kinda cute, but nothing too spectacular between our interaction. Uh huh, I know I'm picky. But there was one big realization came over me during our conversation....that I'm basically cut off from the world! I was wondering why I don't know any new songs or movies coming out, because all the media in the local newspaper (Manly at least) and TV are mostly about Australia or sports. It's a bit shocking.

Sunday, the Jap girl and I had BBQ at her hostel because they had a killer grill. She bought organic chicken for me, yay! I chatted with some of the people at her hostel as well and the vibe seemed better there since the social bench was located right by the entrance. I liked that place more than my old hostel, and I wish I knew about it earlier.

I don't want to give you a quick run down of what happens everyday but having our own bbq is worth mentioning, I think!


Here's a bigger news- I went to my interview for the massage company today.

It was a group interview with 3 girls including myself. The interviewer asked some typical interview questions, and then, we were set off to go on a break where she would contact us by phone to let us know if we made it or not. My answers were horrible and I thought I was so going to be sent home. She called and said she was debating on me but would like to see my interaction skills during the massage practice. So yes, I'm in for the second round.

It looked like all 3 of us got in, with this extra Chinese girl in the room. She did her first interview in the November and was doing her second one today. She was SO (like totally) ditzy and I could not stand her! I am both turned off and amused by her, because I usually would not interact with people like that. At the end of our hands-on trial, the interviewer pulled me and the ditz to another room and said our skills sucked (okay, not in those words). I thought that was the end of it, but then she said our personalities were good so she will give us more training. So yay, I got the job! Yes, working for this company is more about 50 % massage and 50% social +sales. I could not believe my massage skills were so horrible. I also could not believe she said that girl's personality was good either. At least the ditz means no harm, compare to the Brazillian girl who works at my restaurant. I feel that she does not like me, beacuse she acts a bit condescending and bossy. She would seem annoyed whenever I did something wrong. I started to avoid her as much as I could, and talk in my own head things that I would perhaps like to say to her. Anyhow, she is leaving next week so I don't really have to deal with this issue much longer.

There has been a bit of rain and storms again. When it rained, it seemed like everyone was sluggish at work that evening. Now I remember what Vancouver feels like! Talking to some friends online about Vancouver weather really made me appreciate being away from it. I miss the place and my peeps, but perhaps the expense and troubles were all worth it afterall. I don't really see myself living somewhere else permanently, but I cannot see myself trying to dread through every winter there. Maybe if I had a car and a koala bear to cuddle with at home, then it's all good.
....wait...just talked to Tina. I had a quick run down of her version from Anthony's bday fight. I really miss and wish I was there to stick it out with them. I think that would have been my only chance to get into a fight for the first time and as a youngster (big 3-0 coming soon). Talking about it made me kind of excited, so I think I CAN live with the rain for my friends afterall...if An doesn't move away when I go back!!!

After reading my friend Mark's travel blog, I thought my travels is so bland compared to his and that I probably have nothing more to add since I have been in the same location for awhile now. But I was wrong! There are still interesting things that come up....to me, at least.


Last night, I was totally in that space again!!!! Over joyed with mild enlightenment where everything was all good. Sometimes a series of things happening get me there for some strange reason. Maybe PattyLynn's teleconferences ARE making an impact.

Yesterday, I was doing internet banking and felt a bit stressed about my finances and situation. I had to tell myself to chill out and trust that things will be okay. Before my evening shift, I received a phone call from this place I have applied to when I first came to Australia. It is a company where they have a team of people giving 5 minute massages to corporate business, events, etc. It is part time work with decent money and I can continue in other places of Australia, so I think this fits perfectly with my lifestyle and interest. It sounds like a fun job anyways and they are a big reputable company. I will have an interview with them on Monday so I am quite excited about that.

After work, the guy who works next door asked for my phone number. I thought it was pretty funny and felt flattered that I would get picked up when I look like shit at work. I am/have to be open to make new friends so I hope that he is an interesting person, and not another one of those disposable ones.

When I got home, I received emails from the reiki course in Melbourne. I was getting really excited for some reason reading the emails of registration/confirmation. I mean I knew I was basically going anyways, so it didn't seem like a good enough reason to be THAT excited. At that point, I found myself not being able to pull down my big grin. My roommate came in and I was telling him how overjoyed I was, but of course he probably thought I was crazy. I had to go to the beach at 1:30am to have some tea because I was so damn excited. I was sitting on a bench looking at the beach, while smiling like an idiot in the middle of the night. I also was hoping to prolong that feeling for as long as I could, and even tried to extend it to all over including my pals back home. So if you felt like you were having a good Thursday morning PST, let me know.

I LOVE that space. Nothing tops that.

My back hurts from sleeping on this lame bed, and my roommate hasn't been opening the blinds when he leaves like I ask him to so I end up sleeping in...getting a tiny bit more annoyed now. I feel like we don't even talk so much now, just roommates but in the same damn room. Maybe what happened before was probably a bit awkward, I dunno.

One thing I want to mention is that my favorite fruit blueberries are in season right now. They have been on sale but still pretty expensive as most fruits are anyways. I cannot afford to pop them like chips but I usually eat them as a topping for breakfast. I love you, blueberries!

Speaking of shopping, I have failed to mention my shopping days after X'mas. It was basically 2 full days of shopping, with the saying, "shop 'til you drop." I didn't buy too much, as I was being considerate to my limited funds. Everything looks the same after awhile - babydoll tops with crazy prints and scenester 80s styles. I found a top that's different from the mass, but not exactly a practical travel top. It fitted so nice that I had to live with that fact. I blew $50 on a pair of maryjane crocs which were not on sale. I have to walk so much here that I think it was worth it after all. They are probably better to walk in than Haviannas, which everyone wears here. Besides, I wanted that style when I was in Vancouver anyways but wouldn't spend that kind of money on a pair of moulded plastics. In the end, I still didn't buy exactly all that I "needed."

My friend Mark has been inspired to do a travel blog on his own, in Mexico! It's going to be such an adventure especially when he doesn't speak Spanish! Gringos are funny. I would love to go there if I have the hook up. Viva la vida!

It looks like I will be going to China as a personal assistant after all. I hope that will be very beneficial for me. Spain is a very possible option as well this year. Travelling definitely puts you in the state of, "see what shows up."

Am I supposed to reach equanimity?

This morning, I went to grab my clothes from the clothes line to find some of mine and probably others have been stolen. I guess luckily I have only lost 2 things, my beloved Hawaii towel and a pair of $5 black pants for work. OK, I'm already losing money and things left and right, how many more tests are there for me? It's getting to a point where I don't care so much anymore but yet I am broke ass. Can you see me sighing and shaking my head again? Well, it definitely could be worse. Hopefully, it won't get worse! Actually, it won't. Period.

I want to mention Happy Birthday to my dear Anthony! I miss the big show down in Vancouver last weekend. I would have kick some asses for him! Yay for Jenny!

Here I go...

I've been avoiding blogging for awhile because I have more and more shit to say as time goes by. I would really like to set some time aside to do some serious update, but hey, my roommate is back and he's pretty damn tired.


O yes, I have moved out of the hostel life finally! I'm in a shared room with this 36 year old guy from Czech, and a working Aussie guy in the other room. The place is alright but the location is totally awesome. It's a 2 minute walk to work, the wharf/ferry, and Coles (a big chain supermarket). It also feels nice to be able to put my stuff in shelves and drawers.


The other night I was told that the Aussie guy is a slob. He never cleans, does the dishes or any other housework, and the Czech guy has been cleaning after him for 3 years already! I was wondering about the knife with peanut butter by the kitchen sink every morning. I have been washing after this guy without knowing any of this, and now I'm going to avoid cleaning his stuff anymore.


The Czech guy came off as someone interesting but more serious in an older sense (he jokes around a bit). Who knew he used to be a super rock star back home in Czech, the lead singer in a famous band. There were pictures to prove, where he had long hair (he's shaved head now) with crazier clothes than Anthony (my b-b-buddy). I thought things were alright when we stayed up chatting on NYE until he tried to make a move on me in the morning, but I quickly escaped back to my bed. We never talked about it and we just pretended nothing had happened, so I guess that's fine for me.


Yes, I do get sad sometimes when guys keep wanting more from me when I'm only trying to make some friends. I'm not so surprised anymore with more incidents occurring. Me and the Jap girl had discussed about this topic before. I guess backpacking alone as a girl can be lonesome sometimes, yet can encounter many interesting experience. Even when I'm drunk, I know what I am doing and always end up escaping from certain situations. The last time I went out with her, we checked out some R&B club in Manly for the first time. We got wasted and she had agreed to go to some guys' place. She was basically half conscious and I had to drag her out because I didn't like the situation. Maybe I can be too protective of my friends. She was saying that she didn't like the hostel and felt lonely. Anyhow, the sun was up and I was walking in barefeet on concrete and grass because my high heels were hurting. Luckily, no cuts in the morning hehe.


So the Jap girl has been one of my main companions these days. My old Brazillion roommate is my other. By the end of my stay at the hostel before, he was becoming ruder and ruder to me. Sometimes he can be totally sweet, and he did admit that he's messed up in the head so maybe that's why I'm so forgiving towards his strange behaviours. For X'mas, I got him a tee that says, "My anger management class is pissing me off," which I think he got a kick out of. On Xmas Eve, we got into a fight. He took me and the Jap girl to this Brazillian house party in another suburb at a late time, then he wanted to go to Steyne, the local bar. He was getting pissy and taking it out on me which I think it was because he was upset about other things, such as none of his friends wanted to go there and the fact that he was away from his family. I finally told him that he was pissing me off and then he took off on us in the middle of nowhere. I called motorcyle guy to pick us up, and we went to his place for awhile. His roommate took the car to...probably to shag this girl, so we had to tried to take the taxi in this other suburb. I was trying to call and flag down any taxi that drove by but to no success. It was pouring rain outside, and we were 40 minutes outside at 4am. Yes, that was my X'mas eve story.


It was awkward because I was moving out the next day and this thing with my roommate happened. I was avoiding to look him in the eyes for the next day but eventually I had to communicate with him. We still meet up sometimes now and we are cool. I guess people start to get pissy at each other if they live or spend time together everyday.

Other than that, me and the Jap girl went to Blue Mountains on X'mas eve day. It's a popular tourist spot for hiking and being in nature/mountains. It's a 2 hour train ride from the city centre. We walked for only 2 hours in the trail, while trying to avoid the muddy roads. I wasn't wearing proper shoes, and was carrying too much heavy crap. It was nice nonetheless. When we got back to the city, we went shopping in a semi Asian mall where we felt quite at home. We ended up having Korean hotpot for dinner that evening. We tried to hurry back to Manly after, and then what happened was what I have written in the previous paragraph.

X'mas day, I went to Shelley Beach, a smaller and calmer beach right beside Manly, with the people from the hostel for BBQ and drinks. It was nice and different, to see many X'mas toques on a summer day (cloudy but still nice) at the beach. I bumped into motorcycle guy, and talked to some other acquaintences. It was pretty chilled. Later on, I saw my roommate but I tried to avoid him. I found out later that many people from the hostel were on pills that day, hmm.

For NYE day, I had a company bbq and drinking party at Shelley Beach again. It was relaxing also and nice to catch up with some of my coworkers. In the evening, my Jap friend wanted to do her tradition of eating zaru soba and sushi for NY. We were deciding if we should go to the city for fireworks or not. I decided not to because of the crowd and the waiting time for such a short climatic moment. Later I found out it was only for 10 minutes and some of my coworkers ended up in an area where they could not even see anything. There were mini fireworks in the local harbour so I went to see that instead, which is a 1 minute walk from my place. It lasted for 10 minutes, and after we ate the Japanese dinner with another friend of hers at the beach. I rolled my own makis too, it was delicious. We had planned to go to the local bars here, and only Steyne seemed like an okay place to go to. It wasn't too busy because I think most people went to the city, and the music/dj there was lame as usual. I went home by myself early at 12:30. I'm sick of that place (trashy! boring!), and I was missing my friends back home. I was on the internet at night, and my roommate came home later on and we were chatting until the morning. See above for what happened after.

I'm starting to find faults with the Czech roommate now... he has been working alot and for a couple of times when he was going to sleep, he wanted me to get off the computer because of the noise. If he's fussy about things like that, then he shouldn't have a roommate in his room. I'm used to hostel life where some people don't even respect the word "quiet," or cleaners coming into the room to vacuum every morning. Usually everyone just tries to sleep no matter what is happening. He has also forgotten to open the blinds before he leaves in the morning like I have asked him to, so I ended up sleeping in because of that.

I'm starting to feel that this place is kinda dirty, mainly in the common rooms. The phone is dirty, and the couch is disgusting which I don't even wanna sit on it. I'm used to cockroaches and insects running around considering the fact that it is Sydney, unless you can live with the windows closed. One time I was taking a shower, I watched a cockroach on the other side of the tub, slipping and stuggling to climb back up. OK, I mind my own business and so do they. The most fuked up thing so far is that I found out there were a family of insects (not sure which kind) living in the microwave. When I turned it on, I could see them running around behind the time screen. I thought this would be a good story to tell, and I guess radiation isn't as powerful as I thought. I didn't see them today, either they have escaped somehow or they are rotting inside.

Sometimes I'm tired of communicating to my ESL friends. Either they don't completely understand me or I don't really understand what they are trying to say. I would be saying a bunch of things to the Jap girl and then she would ask a question later that would seem like she didn't even hear what I have told her. I asked her if she understood me and she would say yes. If she didn't understand me, she could have just told me so I wouldn't feel like I'm talking to a wall. Hey, I never said I was a patient person.


Regarding the issue of racism, I am sick of being treated as an Asian and not a person. Maybe I look for it but I can definitely compare it to Canada. Wtf is "Hey, Asians, Happy New Year!"?? Okay, at first I told myself to not care about other people's garbage, but now I realize it might affect my employability according to my skin. That made me sad, but I know there are both good and not so good people here. I just have to continue my search for the my ideal niche. I know I'm in a both touristy and suburban area so things can be like that. When I went to the city, I thought that there were many more Asians so it's probably not as bad but I don't really want to live in the city now. It's actually not really only about me or Asians, it's all nationalities judging each other by stereotypes. Like when I was calling to see a room, the girl on the other end asked me where I was from....mm...Canada..that's ok.... ??? Or my roommate would say Brazillians are messy from his past roommate experience, that his employer doesn't want to hire people from that country.


Brazillian has pointed out that I'm complaining all the time, because I said I hate Steyne, the music sucks, not feeling Australia, etc. I realized that I am somewhat negative! I talked to Laura online and she said I was true to my feelings instead. I think she always has such interesting and surprising perspectives. Suddenly, she has "neutralized" my negativity, or should I say, I came to the realization of the non-existence of positivity or negativity. It's really all just perspectives and "is-ness." Whoa, totally radical.

Before, I usually hang out at Manly Beach, a long strip of a beach, located right by my hostel. Now that I have moved, I have been told that there are more beaches by the wharlf. One day, I ventured out on my own to explore. It's a nice scenic seaside walk, with lots of boulders and small beaches that were great for snorkeling. I found a nice piece of rock that is one level under the pedestrian pathway with a tree for shade to meditate and recharge. Another day, I found another spot, a bit of sand underneathe some big plants with even more privacy, to do the same. I took off my rose quartz bracelet which was given to me by Janice before my trip. I forgot about it and and it was gone when I went back the next day...waaahhhh. I really cherished it and it fit me so well too. I know it's just another possession that I have to let go of, and maybe someone needed it more than me. I have been losing enough stuff already...me and my clumsiness. I lost one of my hoop earrings while partying too.

Last Saturday, I took work off and went to the Sydney Festival in the city. There were some really good djs and I got to see Chromeo from Montreal...for free! There were thousands and thousands of people. It was quite a sight for me. The Jap girl doesn't like electronic music so I felt like she wasn't enjoying herself and was getting irritated with the crowds of people. She wanted to find a liquor store to buy drinks so we walked for quite awhile. Somehow I get turned off when people get so desparate for alcohol, and I was a bit choked because I might be missing out on some of the acts. We got to the store too late and it was closing up. We were at another stage with some experimental hip hop act which I think she liked much more. Afterwards, we tried to find a place to go clubbing. We stumbled upon a liquor store so she was happy. She was wanting to find somewhere to down it as soon as possible. Then, we were trying to find a hip hop club which wasn't too easy for some reason. I guess the house scene is quite big here, especially in the area where we were. Maybe it would be fun if I had company who enjoys house music. Anhow, the place we went to was small and not many people were there. I was very disappointed and I guess the local club by where I live is actually better. I was getting really tired from whole day of walking around, and I didn't want to dance. I was a party pooper and wasn't into it at all. Two nights of r&B hip hop can get quite boring and played out also. We tried to go to other places but didn't really work out. I see alot of trashiness and drunkeness around which was a turn off for me. Maybe I should really get out of the party lifestyle. People needing to get messed up in attempt to enjoy life and forget about their problems, get laid to cover up their loneliness. I walked by the red light district and I tried to walk past it as fast as I could. I miss my party friends in Vancouver though ('coz that is how we do it). When we were waiting for the bus to go back, I told her that I didn't want to party in the city anymore. She agreed. What a waste of money, but the festival was a great event for me to check out. Plans for Melbourne perhaps? They have better parties.

I know the Jap girl will leave in a few weeks and I don't even know if I should stay here or Manly. I don't know how long I want to stay in Australia, and other travel possibilities might come up. I don't even know if I should look too hard for work now that I should be taking this cheap reiki course in Melbourne coming up in February. I know that there is so much more to Australia than what I'm seeing at the moment. Not sure if I should go to the outback or dessert at all. I kind of want to see what it is like to travel by car, but might hate the exhausting road trip since Australia is so damn big. There are friends in other cities so maybe I should find them. All these thoughts but should consider the issue of money too. I could blow alot of money on my credit if I wanted to but Laura has warned me to not follow her footsteps. On the other hand, Gip said I have my whole life to make the money back, and this is probably a once in a life time opportunity.

This post is a bit random and non-linear. I just tried to fill the gaps here and there. I'm glad to finally put this information up. OK enough editing, it's like playing with that coloured dice trying to fit one colour on each side (like in Pursuit of Happiness). Thanks for reading, until next time...!